The Strength of a Submissive by Katy Swann
I remember watching a television programme about BDSM a while ago where a group of feminists talked about how books like Fifty Shades of Grey have put women’s lib back to the dark ages. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. As far as I’m concerned that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Firstly, and most importantly, BDSM is consensual. It’s a choice. The fact that we have the freedom to make that choice can surely only be a good thing? Then there’s the fact that it’s not just women who submit. There are just as many men, if not more, who like to submit to women or other men. You just have to look at how many professional Dominatrixes there are out there to see that. So that argument is blown completely out of the water.
The programme also hinted that women who submit are somehow weak. Really? The researchers had clearly never met any submissive women otherwise they’d know what rubbish that was. I’ve never met a weak sub. In fact, every submissive person I know is feisty, outgoing and independent. They certainly wouldn’t take any shit from anyone – well, except from their Dom during a scene of course.
A submissive is just as likely to have a high-powered job with authority over others as anyone else. They’re just as successful, the decisions they make are no less important and they certainly aren’t afraid to stand up for themselves. But they do have the advantage of being able to let go of all the stresses of daily life by choosing to hand over control at an agreed time. They don’t have to make decisions for a while or worry about what to do next. They get their kinky needs met by a loving partner and, best of all, their sex lives are most likely ten times more exciting than their vanilla counterparts. What’s weak about that?
And actually, if you really think about it, it’s the submissive who has the ultimate control. They are getting their needs met, not just in a physical way but on a deep emotional level as well. The knowledge that they’ve pleased their Dom or Master gives them such a feeling of euphoria that they’re the ones experiencing the most sublime pleasure. They also have the power to stop a scene by using their safeword if things get too much. It takes strength to use a safeword and not be afraid to admit that you can’t take any more.
I find D/s the most alluring aspect of BDSM. It’s sexy, exciting and can create a deeply profound bond between a couple. To me, there’s nothing more delicious than a submissive kneeling at her Master’s feet knowing that he’ll look after her no matter what he has planned for her. The trust, respect and honesty needed in such a dynamic really is a beautiful thing.
In my new book, Dominion, The Ultimatum, I explore the D/s dynamic within a troubled marriage. Frankie, the heroine, is a strong, successful career woman who has rejected the BDSM lifestyle. When her husband, Jake, gives her an ultimatum she has to find the strength to face up to her needs. It’s the D/s that finally breaks through her barriers with devastating consequences that could either destroy her marriage completely or make it stronger than ever.
Blurb for The Ultimatum:
This is book one in the Dominion series, see the full series listing here
Once a submissive, always a submissive, right? Maybe she needs a little reminder.
Frankie Hamilton is stunned when her husband, Jake, gives her an ultimatum—either she goes with him to a country hotel for the weekend or he’ll leave her. In an attempt to save her troubled marriage she agrees to go.
But Dominion is no ordinary hotel. During the week it’s an upmarket conference center, but at weekends it becomes an exclusive BDSM hotel. This particular weekend it’s Vanilla Spice, where those new or returning to BDSM can explore their fantasies in a safe and decadent environment.
When Jake asks her to submit one more time, Frankie is initially outraged. After all, it’s been two years since their D/s dynamic ended and she’s no longer a submissive. Is she? She still loves Jake and doesn’t want to lose him so she agrees, even if it’s just to prove that she’s now as vanilla as the ice cream in their freezer.
But Frankie is soon reminded of how delicious it feels to kneel at her Master’s feet. Her fondness for punishment and a good spanking leaves her begging for more. And when their old friend and owner of Dominion, Marco Alessi, offers to use her as the subject for a rope demo she’s finally forced to face up to her kinky needs.
But that’s not the only thing she has to come to terms with. Beneath her tough exterior lies a grief that has been buried for two years. As her submission starts to melt the icy core inside her heart, it sets off a chain of events and emotions that could either make her marriage stronger than ever or completely destroy it.
Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of anal sex, mild breathplay and public humiliation. There are MFM scenes and references to FF intimacy.
Publisher's Note: This book was previously published elsewhere. It has been revised and re-edited for release with Totally Bound Publishing.
About Katy Swann:
Katy Swann is in her forties and lives near London, UK with her husband, three children and two cats.
When she isn't writing about strict, sexy Doms putting their strong-willed subs in their place, she likes to read about them. As well as writing, Katy spends her time trying to avoid the housework, keeping the kids from killing each other and drinking copious cups of coffee in the local coffee shop. Coffee and chocolate are the two things that keep her sane and focused, so they're often close by when she sits down to write.