BDSM Unleashed Blog Hop with Cari Silverwood, Leia Shaw, Red Phoenix and Lila Dubois

Good morning BDSM readers, authors and bloggers! I am very excited to be participating in the BDSM Unleashed blog hop. There are lots of great prizes to be had on the main page at The Playroom and many authors to meet and blogs to see. You can even win a blog tour giveaway of $100 to an online bookstore! Holy crackers Batman! Think of all the great spankings and floggings you could read about with that! Just sayin'. 

On the blog hop, we have four authors, three interviews and a lot of great prizes. Lila Dubois, Red Phoenix, Leia Shaw and Cari Silverwood will be joining us for the dirt on their amazing books and will each be giving away an e-book. So settle in and get ready for a scintillating blog tour.

If you want a series of novellas that will keep you on the edge of your seat, try the Brie series by Red Phoenix. Brie is a young woman working a dead end job and suddenly finds herself applying for Submissive School. In the books, Brie learns much about herself and becoming a submissive. I could not put these books down. 

Join me as Red Phoenix swoops in for an interview about this amazing series...

1.  How did you get started writing erotica?

I was trying to get a published through traditional means, but kept hitting roadblocks. Never a quitter, I started looking into self-publishing and came across a ton of erotica. I penned an explicit little short and published it on Smashwords under the penname Red Phoenix. Writing erotica allowed me to experiment with self-publishing, but it turned out to be so much fun that I just couldn’t stop.

2. What about BDSM interests you?

The dominance of a man is just so damn sexy when there is trust between the couple! To give up control and explore that side of yourself in a loving environment… total yum. To be honest, even though I had some interesting sexual experiences when I was younger I was afraid of my own sexuality. It wasn’t until years later that I became ravenous to learn more about myself and what brings me pleasure.

3. How did Brie's character and the Submissive school idea come about?

I have always been intrigued by Japanese Geishas and used to fantasize I was being trained in the art of lovemaking. A reviewer liked one of my Sensual Erotica quickies, which centered on BDSM and requested more. I combined the two ideas into The Submissive Training Center. I only planned to write about Brie's first day, but fans demanded more and the Brie series was born.

4. The lessons the girls learn in the classes at the school are very intense. They felt so real. We're they inspired by real life events?

Some I have actually experienced and others I have researched. If I haven’t done it personally, I investigate what it feels like and why women like it.

5. Do you write in other genres?

I write mostly contemporary erotica, but I do have two erotic paranormal shorts: one werewolf novelette (I love wolves!) and one vampire novelette (a character that has haunted my dreams since I was a teenager). Neither is conventional. If you read my work, you will find that I walk to the beat of a different drummer. When the muse hits I go with the flow wherever it leads me.

That is the beauty of being an indie author! I have the freedom to write what is in my heart and on my mind.

An example: I felt a deep urging to write Play With Me at Noon, an erotic piece about a struggling couple. I actually felt someone needed to hear its message before he/she gave up on his/her marriage. I know, I know… how silly to think a simple erotic short can save a marriage. Nevertheless, that is how I felt at the time and that’s what inspired me to write it.

6. Being a music junkie, I have to ask if you have a playlist for the Brie books.

Normally, I DO have music I listen to as I write particular stories (like I needed Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” to write the novelette Blissfully Broken). I happen to be partial to Blue October, but for some odd reason Brie has not required any songs. Sorry! :(

7. What is the most awkward sex scene you ever wrote and why?

I would have to say the scene when Brie fails taking a Dom's shaft down her throat in Brie Practices Her Oral Skills. I wanted to be true to the experience, but I didn’t want it to be so uncomfortable that people stopped reading.

8. How many books are in the Brie series?

Currently, there are 5 novelettes published (the first one is free on all major sites) with 4 more in the works - one for each remaining week of the course. The sixth one, Brie Embraces Bondage, is due out the end of July. The plan is to get one out every month with the final set to publish in October. The last will reveal our dear Brie's choice of her Dom. ;)

(Why novelettes? I like my erotica to be quick & dirty little reads. Some fans have begged for longer books but I personally like reading something that only takes a short time investment. I want to jump in bed afterwards and enjoy the naughty feelings the stories inspire!)

9. What are some of your hobbies when you are not writing?

Raising the family (it’s a hobby ~ right?), reading, experimenting in the bedroom, and volleyball.

10. What is one thing you would tell an author who wants to write erotica?

Have a vision when writing erotica. My vision is to inspire readers to open themselves up to new avenues of pleasure and not to be ashamed of their own sexuality. Think: What makes your take on erotica different than the multitudes already out there? If you can tap into that, your work will automatically stand out.

11. In the books, you explore how fantasy can differ from reality when creating a BDSM scene and how communication between sub and Dom is key. What are some of the most important parts of the D/s relationship that makes it special from anything else?

Freedom -the freedom to embrace all of who you are without shame.

Creativity - with a little creativity you truly can live out your fantasies with your partner.

Trust – the level of trust involved on both sides is unlike anything you experience normally.

Thank you Red for stopping by and sharing your work with us! You can win your choice of one book by commenting on the blog and telling me which one you would like to win.

Next...A visit with Lila Dubois and some pretty sexy kink.

The Undone series are two books so far. They have been reviewed on the blog here and I feel so in love with them that I reached out and invited Ms. Dubois to the blog hop. She graciously agreed to give away a copy of either of the Undone books (Undone Dom or Undone Rebel) to one very lucky reader. 

1. How did you first become interested in writing erotica?

I wanted to write erotica as soon as I stumbled across erotic romance. I’d always been frustrated with books where there was great sexy potential—especially fantasy and sci fi—that had almost no sex in them. When I stumbled on erotic romance ebooks in 2005 a light bulb went off and I wrote my first book in 2006.

2. Your characters in the Undone series are so dynamic. What inspired the story line? Addie and Lulu are amazing!

Thank you very much. I really wanted to write about the intersection of pin-up and BDSM. Bettie Page was my inspiration, because she was considered not only beautiful and sexy but a strong woman, and yet no one disputes the revered status of her BDSM photos. I started imagining who a modern day pin up girl would be, and how she might react to BDSM situations.

3. The scenario with the photo shoot and BDSM book is a great idea! Have you ever worked for a publishing house that did anything remotely similar?

I haven’t ever been part of a project like the ones in the story, though I have seen a few beautiful kink and fetish coffee table books. I think one problem with any “introduction to…” book is that no one would agree where to start. That comes out a little bit in that each of the Doms in Undone Rebel is representing a different branch of, or take on, BDSM. There could certainly be more than three books in the series.

4. The Undone series is wonderful. Will there be more besides the two books?

The third book—Emory’s—is done, and should be out in the fall. That book, Undone Diva, is the end of the trilogy.

5. What is rockabilly (for anyone who has not read your books) and what inspired you to make it such an integral part of your books?

As a reader I really enjoy getting to see into another world or culture as a read, and I wanted to have some of that in these books. Living in LA I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people, and see many different cultures, but one that’s always fascinated me was rockabilly, specifically Hispanic rockabilly, which is where Addie’s character comes from. I’m a bit Smiths and Morrisey fan, and every Morrisey concert is white girls and cool rockabilly Hispanic kids. That’s where I first “met” this specific subculture, and explored from there. The reason I chose a rockabilly theme for the story is that rockabilly fashion is the evolution of pin-up fashion. I love the idea women who are totally unrepentant in both their sexuality and their convictions.

6. Playlist? Do you listen to music while you write?

Writing these books I listened to a lot of big band and swing music.

7. Who are some of your favorite erotica authors?

If I listed who I like to read it would take 10 pages, but my favorite authors, in that their books are awesome and they’re cool, fun people to hang out with, both online and in person, are the other International Heat (http://internationalheat.wordpress.com/) authors: Mari Carr, Rhian Cahill, Jayne Rylon, Jess Dee, Lexxie Couper, Jambrea Jo Jones, Anne Rainey, Bianca D’Arc and J. R. Patrick.

8. What is your next writing project?

I’m finishing up the Monsters in Hollywood series, and erotic paranormal romance series.

9. What one thing would you tell an author who is trying to break into the erotica genre?

Breaking in to erotica now is much different than it was when I first submitted, so my advice is to make sure you write well. It may not always seem like it (I just found a typo in one of my published books) but a good mastery of the written word is as important as a great story concept.

10. What are some of your hobbies when you are not writing wonderful smutastic books?

I’m a big paper crafter. If you can make it out of paper, or stamp on it, I will.

11. What was the most awkward or funniest sex scene you ever wrote and why?

It’s not precisely a sex scene, but in the first Monsters in Hollywood book there’s a scene where the non-human hero finds the heroine’s box of sex toys and upon realizing that human women enjoy kink…well. Then it does become a sex scene.

Thanks Lila for stopping by and joining the blog hop! Don't forget to enter which book you would like to win in the comment field below! 

Join me for our last two guests, authors Leia Shaw and Cari Silverwood, authors of the new hot and steamy book, 31 Flavors of Kink. 

31 Flavors of Kink is a hot novel about a woman who is struggling with sex in her marriage and wants to try a little something more. Is her husband up to the challenge? Stay tuned for a review in the coming days...Here is an expert and an interview with these two amazing authors!

Excerpt:

It’s Thursday night, and Nick and I watch our comedy lineup together in bed. I lay my head on his chest. His little bit of curly black hair chafes the skin on my cheek. I glance up. Firm, manly lips, a jaw that’s pretty square but not perfect. A scar where he fell over as a kid and hit a shovel blade. He often has a simple hairstyle with mostly, like now, buzz-cut hair. If he were Fabio or Jimmy, he’d have long, flowing locks. I grin at that thought. I’ll never be able to run my fingers through his hair, but I don’t care.

I snuggle closer. His body is always a slightly higher temperature than mine. And he smells like love and comfort.

He strokes my hair as we laugh together through the shows. Humor is a big part of our relationship. In fact, I’m convinced he married me because I make him laugh. I remember my dream. Nick—serious and full of authority. I snort out loud. Never gonna happen.

Even Mistress Helvetica can’t save us.

The TV goes off at ten p.m. sharp, and I roll over, tucking myself under the heavy white comforter. Before the light goes off, I trace the cherry blossom design. When we bought our little two-story, two-bedroom cottage a year ago, Nick gave me free rein in decorating. In turn, I don’t question his remodeling projects. That’s how our relationship works. We’re each in charge of separate little compartments of our lives. We’re like a business. The cherry blossom quilt, the bonsai tree on the dresser, the elegant bamboo window blinds are my ideas. The hand-built patio outside, right next to where the yard runs down to a little park—that was Nick’s.

I take a deep breath and process my day. Work too damn early, lunch, work, dinner, dishes, TV, bed. This is my life. I’m not complaining. We have our health. We have job security. We have the house with the dog and the white picket fence, minus the two-point-five children. Maybe someday we’ll even have that. We’re just like every other red-blooded American family. Except most couples probably have sex more than once every few months. And most women actually enjoy it.

But we have a strong relationship. Internally I pump my fist in the air to accentuate it. We don’t need sex. We have love, a foundation, commitment.

But no orgasms, my libido is quick to point out.

I sigh and briefly wonder if there’s a section in the phone book for “Dom Trainer.”

A hand snakes under my shirt and around my waist, warm against my bare skin. Nick’s breath sifts across my ear. Every muscle in my body tenses. I know what he wants. His cues are not so subtle.

I am in a constant state of guilt for always denying him. Tonight I will give it the old college try. His hand reaches my breasts and kneads one gently. I feel a tingle between my legs. Yes, that’s good. I can do this.

His fingers tweak my nipple, stimulating me in an uncomfortable way. I stiffen, then squirm a bit, reflexively, before forcing myself to remain still. Nick takes this as excitement. He kisses my neck. I melt into the mattress, looking up at him as he turns me onto my back. My neck, my ears, my collarbone—those are my erogenous zones. I wish he’d bite me. Just the thought of it makes my thighs clench. For some reason, I think the pinch of pain will help somehow. That’s based on instinct, not logic. How could pain make me relax?

He pulls my nipples again, and all I can think of is a cow being milked. I groan, but not in bliss. It’s really more of an irritated growl. But I can’t find it in me to say no. Everything from that point on makes me more and more uncomfortable. I’m ticklish and sensitive. It doesn’t feel like my husband’s loving hands on me but grating sandpaper. I want to crawl out of my skin. I tense at every touch, every kiss. I can’t help it. My body is a ball of anxiety. I will it to calm down. This is my husband, I yell in my head. He won’t hurt me!

No, but you want him to, a voice inside me yells back, smirking.

Ugh! This is so frustrating, I want to cry. And the worst part…it isn’t just me who’s suffering. It’s Nick, the man I love.

He enters me, and I fight to keep my thighs open. My face scrunches in pain. He stops and looks down—so much love and concern in his eyes that I choke on my guilt. I wish I could beat myself with a paddle. I’d deserve it.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Uh-huh.” I give a shaky smile.

He ponders me for a moment. “I know what you need. Lube.”

I sigh as he reaches under the bed to get it. Yes, I am that woman—the one who’s as dry as a desert. Cold. Impassionate.

“Better?” he asks, rubbing his erection at my opening after lubing up.

I nod. I hate lying, but I’ve ruined this too many times before. I’m petrified he’ll cheat on me if I don’t put out. So I grit my teeth and take it. The lube doesn’t help the pain much, but it keeps me from tearing. I stare at the ceiling and wait for it to be over. He finishes inside me. I am blank. Numb.

He rolls off me, then goes to clean himself.

I turn on my side and curl up in a ball under the blanket, hiding this horrible wrongness clawing at my soul. He climbs in beside me. If he hugs me, I’ll cry.

“I love you, honey,” he whispers in my ear.

I hate myself.

I fall asleep with the salty taste of tears in my mouth.

1. In 31 Flavors of Kink, the story is centered around a woman who is tired of enduring terrible sex and wants more from her marriage. I am intrigued by it being based on a true story. What inspired you and Leia Shaw to write this incredible book? 

Cari: We both knew the person this story is based on and we both had spoken to people who wanted to introduce BDSM into their marriages, and we knew of all the erotic novels out there with fictional uber-Doms. Some of those Doms are far removed from reality and yet some women seemed disappointed their partners weren’t like them. We felt there was a place to show an ordinary couple stumbling through, getting their relationship working, finding out what worked for them. We wanted to show the mistakes as well as the good stuff.

Which means neither Sid nor Nick are perfect.

Leia: Ditto what Cari said. I’m so helpful ;)

2. Sidney, the main character is getting over a traumatic rape in her past. Every time her husband touches her for vanilla sex, she freezes inside. As someone who has also endured violence of a sexual nature, I understand. What are the elements in BDSM, to you, that give Sidney the freedom to become a sexual being?

Cari: That question is almost best answered by a psychologist. I know that it’s not uncommon for women who have been raped to actually be attracted to their partner dominating them and controlling them. As for why – I think it may vary. People are complex. Possibilities? That it does make her feel less in control and therefore almost gives her permission to have sex. I know she describes BDSM as relaxing. She does get very wound up and anxious about sex. Fear is there, I guess, to some degree. There’s also a known effect from pain releasing endorphins and that can also relax you. So it’s maybe partly a chemical effect and partly mental.

Leia: They start slow. And she has a lot of control in the beginning. Topping from the bottom, some would call it, but it was an important part of her journey in trusting her husband to take care of her in this very vulnerable circumstance. She sets up the first few scenes they do. She gives him suggestions, they laugh about it – which made it feel safe for her. A partnership instead of one person controlling another. After all, the sub has the ultimate control. There’s no Dom if there isn’t someone to submit to him/her.

3. The humor in 31 Flavors of Kink was one of the things I loved most about the book. Bondage in the home, I am sure, lends itself to many humorous episodes. Can you think of a few scenes that are the most chuckle worthy?

Cari: The crazy shibari is certainly up there as the funniest, but a lot of women get a laugh out of Nick hitting himself in the balls with the belt. Yes, that happened, though not during kitchen sex, as it did in the story. I know of another Dom who did the same thing. One of our readers fell off their chair after reading that part!

Leia: My favorite is the strip tease where she gets stuck in her shirt and Nick has to rescue her. He says she looked like a sea cucumber giving birth to an anemone. I have a silly sense of humor.

4. What was your favorite thing about writing this particular book?

Cari: I loved working with Leia. It makes the story more exciting, in a way, when you’re never sure where your co-writer will take you. Also this story has more humor than I manage to put in my stories, and that is always fun to see and read.

Leia: Aw, isn’t she sweet? Don’t let her fool you. I don’t know how many death threats she sent via Australian ninja assassin.

5. Do you think you and Leia will write more of Sidney and Nick's story? 

Cari: At the moment, no, though I wish we could. The problem is they have changed, but not in an astounding way. Nick has admitted he loves tying Sid up and spanking etc and watching all her squealing and squirming and reactions. He admits he has a bit of sadist in him as long as she wants him to do it. They match each other well. I’ve talked to a lot of women and never come across a husband who has said anything like what he has said, early on, as in telling her she might regret asking for BDSM (in a slightly menacing way lol) or saying “honey, I could bruise you”, as he did.

So to write more, where would we go? There’s no drama.

Leia: What she said.

6. In the book, Sidney experiences some heartbreaking moments when she tries to share her new desires with her husband. What would you say to someone who wanted to do just that? Would you throw a BDSM novel their way or leave interesting sticky notes in the fridge? 

Cari: My recent revelation is that you should feel your way. Try every method you can think of but always be prepared to go really slow. Haste makes a very scared reluctant partner. People will often come around and listen to your desires if you approach everything slowly and sensibly. Dump it all on someone at once and they’ll bolt, nine times out of ten.

There’s all sorts of ways –

Straight-out talking, though make sure it doesn’t sound like you’re complaining about their sexual methods. Trying this straight after sex is bad lol

Try encouraging and showing when they do something that you like. Small things add up. To start with you may have to instruct them, even if you want them to take control eventually. For the Dominance and submission part of things - put their hand in your hair, or wherever. Ask them to physically hold your body down, or your hands. Respond in a body language way too if they do what you ask them too. At first you may only get a half-hearted response but if they try at all, you have a good chance they are curious.

Give them articles from the net. Online links, books, look at pictures with them even. Men love pornography so BDSM porn is where you may find inspiration

Try sexting even. Send them ideas. Suggest naughtiness.

If you desire the submissive path, act submissive. This can be in the bedroom, or out of it.

And then there are the sticky notes on the fridge! lmao

Again, I stress, some partners will hate you doing things in certain ways. You have to find ways to communicate that they are comfy with. If you tell them they’re bad lovers, you won’t get anywhere. And not every man wants to dominate. Not every woman wants to be submissive either.

Leia: Yes, positive reinforcement is huge. We all want to know we please our partners in bed. A compliment here or there goes a long way. Gushing is even better. Brag to your friends about your awesome lover. Lol. Okay, maybe not unless you and your partners are exhibitionists. My advice is to start slow. Like Cari said, a newbie can get overwhelmed very easily. Work to their strengths. Be honest. And don’t laugh or judge their own kinks even if they seem ridiculous to you!

7. What other books are you currently working on? 

Cari: I’m looking at a sequel to 31 Flavors with Leia, but with new main characters.

I am also in the final stages of Steel Dominance, my third in the Steamworks series. I have beta readers looking at it.

And in the last quarter of this year, I plan to release the first in a PNR post-apocalyptic series called Cataclysm Blues.

Leia: I’m working on the 5^th book in my paranormal series, Shadows of Destiny. A dark, emotional story about redemption and forgiveness but still containing my typical snarky humor and hot sex scenes.

8. Your writing style is so versatile. You are able to write contemporary erotica and with the book Iron Dominance, that I just downloaded happily to my e-reader, you are writing in the steampunk genre. What is your favorite time period to write about?

Cari: Steampunk is not exactly a time period as it can even be futuristic. But right now, I do think the time of Rough Surrender, which is around 1910, is a great time. So much was changing in the world around then.

Leia: I think this is just for Cari so I’ll be her cheerleader. Go Cari! You answer that question! You kick that question’s ass! Whoo-hoo!

9. The use of knots in BDSM is an art and a science. Is there a book or website you would recommend to someone who is interested in learning about methods of tying up someone without tying them into a knot they can't get themselves out of?

Cari: Lol. Well, real shibari is intricate. You need to research safety a lot. You can kill with rope, or destroy the nerves or circulation to a limb. You can tear ligaments, and strangle accidentally. Those who use rope have a lot of safety procedures they keep in mind because not only can rope itself cause trouble, the person tied up can panic suddenly, have an asthma attack, or other health problem,  and need releasing fast. People can also overbalance and fall and fracture bones, even fall on their faces onto the floor.

There are classes you can go to. But if you’re very careful there are a lot of youtube videos you can look at. To be honest, leather or Velcro cuffs are far safer. Certainly there are websites out there though. It might be best not to recommend anywhere really, but if you want to look, the Two Knotty Boys on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01TWJZLyMHI

There are books by the two knotty boys also, and Jay Wiseman has one on erotic bondage. Look and you’ll find references. But safety first, always. I myself know zero about tying knots!

Leia: Uh, yeah, that about sums it up. This is the easiest interview ever ;)

10. Because Sidney and Nick are trying a lot of their kink at home, what is one thing you would share with newbie home kinksters?

Cari: Same as with shibari, if it’s not something simple, like light spanking, make sure you know what you’re doing safety-wise. Things can go wrong. You’d be surprised at the things kinksters plan for. What if there’s a fire or an earthquake when you have your partner tied up? Can you get them loose quickly?

If you want to gag them, make sure they can breathe through their nose and have no other breathing problems. In fact restricting breathing in any way at all is living dangerously.

Do you know where you shouldn’t hit the body, or which places might be bad to hit? Getting your sex life humming along is one thing, injuring your partner accidentally is the opposite of what anyone wants.

Leia: Just like trying anything new, research. I’m not saying you have to take classes or be mentored (though those are options too), but read a few articles, watch a flogging demo online. Use common sense.

Many thanks to all the wonderful authors who took the time for interviews. Reviews for each book will be coming out soon on the blog, so make sure you sign up for email notification so you don't miss a thing!

Please leave a comment and tell me which book you would like to win...

* an e-book of one of the Brie series (tell me about a kinky Submissive lesson that you think Red should have in her curriculum!)

*an e-book from Lila Dubois' Undone series (Undone Rebel or Undone Dom) (tell me about a bondage fantasy that leaves you feeling a little undone yourself...)

* an e-book copy of 31 Flavors of Kink. ( What flavor of kink makes your blood burn? Rum raisin with a side of flogging?)

***Since these are e-books, the contests are international. Please leave your email address in the post so I can contact you if you win.

Don't forget to visit The Playroom for more links to other blogs in the hop and the $100 e-book gift card to an online bookseller. 

Thanks for stopping by! Happy Blog Hop and I hope your nights are full of naughty passion and some smokin' hot reads!