“Abigail Swanson, this is Sean Drennan.”
Ron introduced him like it was a legitimate interview, like
he wasn’t standing there in the spacious office applying for a job in porn. It
felt weird.
“He’s finished the application. We’ll do the rest after he’s
done with you.”
Sean extended his hand and was quickly greeted with a sweet
smile. An innocent, full pair of lips parted to reveal white teeth beneath. Had
he ever seen a sweeter smile? Not one focused in my direction.
She took his hand into her soft grip. “Mr. Drennan, it’s
nice to finally meet you. Ron has told me a lot about you.”
He has? Like what, the size of my dick or how many reps I
can do on the trap bar?
He knew his hand lingered too long, but God, she was fucking
with his head. Abigail Swanson was supposed to be a porno filmmaker, one of
those dirty women wearing black latex and carrying a riding crop. A Jenna
Jameson or Heidi Fleiss.
The woman standing behind the metal desk was no Jenna and
definitely no Heidi. She was apple pie and pompoms. She was the girl who
wouldn’t have given him the time of day in high school. She’s a
sly-look-and-run-away, just like the woman in the café.
Only ten times hotter.
The long auburn waves hung past her shoulders, and that
shirt… Betty Boop, really? And jeans? He wasn’t complaining. They hugged her
full curves. He’d been so used to the gym girls he’d forgotten what real women
looked like. They looked like Abigail Swanson. Think, dumbass! “Sorry I’m late,
Ms. Swanson.” He let her soft skin slide across his palm as she released his
hand. The loss was instant.
“It’s all right. The rain was coming down pretty hard. I’m
sure the drive took a while. Please.” She motioned to the wingback chair in
front of the desk. “Have a seat.”
Sean swiped his gaze over the room. It was decorated like
the lobby, only more spacious… and with more plants. He wanted to smile. The
air carried a hint of something spicy, exotic. Incense, he concluded when he
glanced over to see the ceramic Buddha holding the thin stick. Filmy curls of
smoke waved up only to disappear. It was massage-parlor-meets-boardroom.
Ron handed her his application. “I can fax a résumé over.”
They both stared at him as if he’d spoken Vulcan. “I mean, if you want it.”
Ron grinned. “And what kind of qualifications would we find
on that resume, Sean?”
The guy was fucking with him. He felt like an ass. Of course
they didn’t want to hear about his internships and degree qualifications. There
was only one requirement for this job, and it sure as hell wasn’t listed under
the achievement section on his résumé.
“Right.” Sean decided to shut his mouth and stick to just
answering their questions.
“Ron, could you shut the door on your way out?” Abigail’s
expression was neutral as she continued to flip through the pages of his
application.
“Sure you don’t want any coffee?” Ron asked.
Sean readjusted in the seat. The chair felt too small. “No,
thanks.”
Ron left, leaving behind a room full of silence. Sean waited
for her to read through the application and drop the bomb that he’d heard so
many times before.
“I see you left the fetishes section blank.” She finally
looked up at him. Her gaze flitted to the computer screen, then back again. “Is
there a reason why?”
Sean wanted to swallow his tongue. That section was on the
next-to-last page. That meant she’d already read his answer to the have you
ever been in jail question. He’d been incarcerated, and she chose to ask him
about his lack of fetishes? He didn’t know what to say. He decided to treat the
conversation like one of the million other interviews he’d been on over the
last year.
“I don’t have any fetishes, but I’m open to new
experiences.” Good answer.
“I see. So you don’t prefer blondes to brunettes. How about
voyeurism to exhibitionism?”
What to what? “I like to watch women swim in the nude. Does
that count?”
He didn’t smile until she did. Her lips parted like a
blossoming rose.
“Of course watching women swim naked would count. It’s
rather vanilla, but it counts just as much as a man who enjoys watching a woman
smoke a cigar. It’s all relevant to the one with the fantasy. Do you have a
preference for skinny women or full-figured women?”
“Men like that, watching women smoke cigars? I have a
preference, I guess, but it wouldn’t interfere with me performing my job.”
By the way she ignored his answer, she didn’t seem too happy
with his response. “Sure, men and women like a lot of things, even smoking
cigars. We’re here to provide a visual experience of their fantasies. Has Ron
filled you in on what Fantasy Emporium really is?”
Sean thought about it. No, he hadn’t. All Ron had said was
that he had what the company was looking for, and he could make some fast cash
doing porn films. He didn’t want to sound like he hadn’t done his research, but
he hadn’t done his research. “Yeah. Yes. He told me the company makes
pornographic films.”
By the way she lifted her eyebrows, he knew she’d caught him
bullshitting. “Come here.” Sean leaned against the edge of the desk as she
turned the computer screen so he could see it. Her nimble fingers flew over the
keys. Her fingernails weren’t the ones with the white tips. All the women who
talked to him had fake fingernails, fake tans, and fake tits too. The chipped
pink nail polish made his stomach do something weird.
“This, Mr. Drennan, is Fantasy Emporium.”
Sean pulled his attention to the computer. The lavish colors
flowed across the screen. The tabs were gold-colored with intricate scrollwork
laced throughout the page.
“It’s a Web site designed for custom pornography. See here?”
She moved the cursor over the sign in tab. “First, the client must create an
account. After that, they can go to the site and simply sign in and begin their
adventure. Everything is kept confidential. They pay with a PayPal account or
credit card. The information is secure. My clients can order with the utmost
discretion. We have many clients from all over the world.”
He was kicking himself in the ass for not checking out the
Web site sooner. The decision to take Ron up on his offer was last minute. He’d
gotten the bill for his tuition and made a rash decision. His bank account was
almost in the negative, and the tank in his truck was on E. Either he could put
gas in the truck to get to the rec center to meet with the guys, or he could
eat for the next few days. The tank was now half full, and he drank the last of
the milk with the last of the cereal this morning. He hadn’t even thought about
checking out the Web site. Just chalk it up to another one of his bonehead
moves.
“Okay.” What else was he supposed to say?
Her eyes shot up. “Okay? It’s more than okay.”
So was the color of her eyes. Blue. Not just any blue, but
blue like a summer sky. He gave her a sharp nod. She filled in the two slender
boxes, and the screen changed. “They can click here to see the cast, or
performers, as we call them. Those are the men and women who the client can
choose from to star in their videos. The price of the video goes up with each
additional performer they pick. Like, here.” She moved the curser over cast and
clicked the black mouse.
A new screen popped up. The couple on the business card Ron
had given him was on the screen. One side was labeled women and the other men.
She slid the mouse, and over a dozen pictures popped up. The women were
diverse. Every type of woman was represented right there for the clients to
choose from.
“I appreciate that you’ll be able to perform no matter what
your preference is, but it makes for a hotter scene if you connect with someone
you’re attracted to. So what is your preference?” She asked the question like
she wanted to know if he wanted white or wheat.
“Um, I’m not sure if I want to answer that.” You. What the
fuck?
“Well, you’d be expected to be with all kinds of women.” She
started to pick at the chipped pink fingernail polish. “Or men.”
Hell to the no! “Wait, Ron didn’t say anything about—”
“Calm down, Mr. Drennan. You can turn down any request. If
you don’t prefer to be with men, then you simply say no. I will tell you that
each job pays the same. Couple sex, I mean, whether you’re with one woman or
one man. There’s no higher price for same-sex arrangements. The big bucks come
in for group scenes and anal.”
God, was this woman real? She spoke filth with the ease of
the businessmen he’d interviewed with. Tax credits versus anal sex. Capital
investment versus a blowjob. Abigail Swanson was a businesswoman, plain and
simple.
“If we come to an arrangement and you sign a contract with
us, I’d like for you to familiarize yourself with the site. You can set up an
account. We offer a thirty percent discount to employees.” Sean wanted to laugh
but thought better of it. She looked so serious. “There’s a section for toys
and supplies. Some of our clients like to order accessories to go along with
their videos.”
He leaned back into the chair. “Okay.”
“Now, I see here you…” She flipped through a couple of the
pages. Here it comes. The question. Get ready, dickhead, to explain yourself
right out of the job again. She continued without looking up from his
application. “You listed one of your hobbies as working out.”
Her bright gaze tilted just slightly to take him in. There
it was—the familiar look. This woman was no different from the others. He had
to give her credit. It had taken her longer than most to give his body the
once-over.
“Yeah, I work out about four or five times a week.”
“Uh-huh, and you checked the single box?”
Now she looked at him full-on. “Yes.”
Blink, blink. The dark crescents of her lashes almost
reached her pale cheeks. Well, her now blushing cheeks. He might have become a
hardened asshole at a young age, but he wasn’t heartless. Not yet anyway. She
was embarrassed and so fucking cute. The woman sitting on the other side of the
desk might as well have been sitting on the other side of the world. She was
way out of his league.
“Do you have any questions for me?”
Was she serious? “What kind of things will I be expected to
do? How much money will I get paid? Will my picture be on the Web site like the
others? How do I get chosen to do a video?”
She started to fiddle with the edge of the paper. Her once
confident stare shifted back to the computer screen, then to some far-off point
behind him.
“Um, you’ll only have to take part in the things you’re
comfortable with. Your income from each video will range from $500 to $2,000
depending on the scene. And, yes, you will have your picture on the Web site
with a small profile of information, your likes and hobbies. Things like that.
It makes the client feel like you’re his or her personal actor. They like
that.”
Sean sighed. God, the money sounded great.
The sound of Abigail clearing her throat made him look up,
“If you’d like, Ron can give you a tour and show you how it works. The
interview actually progresses. You were honest on your application, and I
appreciated how you tried your best to answer all the questions. I know some of
them are a bit out there. Most of the people who come in here put down some
interesting answers, but yours seem genuine. So you passed the application
section. That’s the first part of the interview process. Since you passed the
first part, you get to go on the tour. Then, well…we’ll discuss that part when
we get to it.”
“I passed the first part?”
“You sound surprised.” The blush skating across her cheeks
glowed like hot embers. Pretty. “Yes, you passed this part of the interview.”
She scooted the chair back and walked around the desk.
What did he have to lose? He stood up. “Can I ask you
another question?”
She stopped beside him. Sean noticed her cute bright red
toenails. The faded jeans fit her snugly in all the right places. Thick thighs,
slightly rounded belly. God, he could fall asleep next to that. Whose fucking
head are you in? Get your shit together, Drennan!
“Sure,” she said.
“What do most people ask for? I mean, what kind of videos?”
He followed her to the doorway. “Honestly, not as much sex
as you’d think. Mostly, they want to see intimacy on the screen. They want that
part of the fantasy they lack at home, a glance, that first conversation, the
magical moment just before a kiss.”
“Is it mostly women who order that sort of thing?”
Her soft laugh was a soothing massage over his muscles.
“Some, but not all. You won’t know who you’re performing for. That information
is kept confidential. But, rest assured, when you see your paycheck, you won’t
care if you’re acting for the president or a waitress.” She leaned her hip
against a tall file cabinet. The gesture emphasized the dip in her waist. “Can
I ask you a question?”
He fought the urge to cross his arms over his chest. “Yes.”
“What’s an ex-con doing with a business degree?”
She was to the point. He admired that. The others skated
around it like it was cancer, asking about it like it was an apology for the
test results. “I got my degree while I was incarcerated. The prison had an
outreach program, and I qualified. I had a high school diploma when I went in.”
“And what were you in for?”
He noticed she didn’t step back, didn’t make that slight
shuffle of her feet to politely get away from him. She kept her eyes focused on
his face. No nonsense. “Fighting. I was involved in illegal fighting and got
caught.” Half-truth.
She stuffed her hands in the front pockets of her jeans. The
movement pressed her ample breasts together. Were her nipples small and pink or
fat and dusky? God, he wanted to find out. It was his turn to shift his stance.
Shit, she was sexy and didn’t even know it.
“I didn’t know fighting was illegal.”
“Yeah, the kind of fighting I did is, and I did it for
money.” Truth.
“Thank you for your honesty.”
Now he felt like shit. A few months; I can handle anything
for a few months. Fuck, I fought my way through hell for five years. I can do
two months of this.
“So do you shoot all the scenes here?” He tried to steady
his voice as he followed Abigail Swanson, unlikely pornography queen, out of
her office.
Abigail felt like her big ass had one of those truck horns
attached to it. The moment she decided to step backward, the familiar
beep…beep…beep would sound off. Why couldn’t he walk beside her down the
hallway? She looked over her shoulder. Yep, Sean Drennan was still there. All
tight white dress shirt and perfectly bulging slacks quietly followed behind
her sashaying ass.
His beautifully full lips tilted at one corner. Damn if he
wasn’t the most luscious thing she’d ever laid eyes on. She’d interviewed quite
a few great-looking guys, but none revved her engine like Mr. Drennan. She’d
noticed the black ink Ron had been talking about. He’d worn a long-sleeve dress
shirt rolled up at the cuffs, just enough to reveal the tips of the dark marks
on his forearm. She couldn’t wait to see the rest of the tattoo.
She wasn’t surprised to find that he’d been in jail. He had
that look about him. Hardened, jaded, but so handsome—so damn sexy. His tight
jaw looked like he’d just shaved. And his dark hair was cropped close to his
head. If he hadn’t been in jail, she would’ve sworn he’d just stripped out of
fatigues.
Crap, she felt like she had two hot pokers sticking in her
butt cheeks. Please don’t jiggle. Please don’t jiggle. If she’d learned
anything in this business, there were guys out there who went for curvy girls.
Even some of the guys built like Sean admired a fuller figurer. Yep, desire
came in all sizes and shapes. Sean would have to be filed away in her brain
under the naughty fantasy tab.
She glanced back again. The chocolate brown irises behind
her lifted. He was checking out my butt! The thought made her brain almost
forget that the slight flirtation couldn’t go any further. Not only because he
was a potential employee… The other reason made her stomach sink and her hands
shake. What if Justin found her again? The thought was unbearable.
“Um, if you go through there, Ron will take you through the
warehouse and explain the process of how we film and get a scene ready. We have
several sets and even do a lot of work outside the studio. Carl, he’s one of
our cameramen, is a retired marine, and we use his cabin for some of the
shoots. Janice, she does costumes, we use her apartment, and Ron’s boyfriend
has a gorgeous house with a bathroom the size of Atlanta. A lot of people
request bathroom scenes.”
She was impressed. He wasn’t rattled when she’d mentioned
Ron’s boyfriend. Had Ron already told Sean he was gay?
“Okay.”
Abigail stepped closer. The scent of something woodsy and
spicy wafted over her, making her knees weaken. “I thought you’d be taller.”
He blessed her with a wicked smile. “Yeah? Am I too short
for the job?”
She rose up on her tiptoes. He was still taller than her.
But then again, everybody was. “Not at all. I guess those fighters on that TV
show aren’t very tall either.”
The smile on his face melted. Had she said something wrong?
“By those fighters I assume you mean the mixed martial arts
fighters?”
Her tiptoes deflated. “Um, yeah, I guessed that’s what you
meant by illegal fighting. Wasn’t that type of fighting illegal at one time? My
brother’s obsessed with those pay-per-views. I think he said it was banned in
some countries or something.”
“Some forms of it still are.” His stern tone made her feel
off balance; everything about the guy was sending her senses into overdrive.
She was surprised she didn’t fall right over. She stepped back.
“Is…is that the type of fighting you did?” Justin’s fighting
was illegal too. No one but her knew about it, but he fought with her
constantly. He’d pick fights about the new drapes she’d ordered or what she’d
made for dinner, any excuse to lay a hand on her.
Sean folded his thick arms over his even thicker chest.
“Yes.”
Illegal fighting, drop subject. Bury it, under a rock, under
a pyramid. Got it. She spun around. “Ron’s right through there.”
Ron stepped through the open door. “Hey, man, you ready to
see how this circus works?”
Her belly did a funny flip-flop when Sean stopped at the
doorway and looked back at her. “I think so.”
She watched Sean follow Ron into the main studio, telling
herself it wasn’t because his ass looked tight and high in those black slacks.
And he did fit the profile perfectly. The order specifically stated, “Guy like
in Marky Mark underwear ad only with big tattoo all over arm.” Sean fit that
bill and more. His handsome face was blessed with a dangerously sexy smile. Not
that he’d let her see it all that much. It was a plus that he didn’t act like
an ass. Usually, men who looked like he did were conceited jerks. Anyway, he’d
get a physical and lab work done. Then after all the formalities, she could
hire the sexy fighter.
The final test would be the real deciding factor. Please,
dear God, be able to pass the final test. I can’t wait to see him try. Abigail
went to grab a cup of coffee and wait impatiently in the blue room.
Hi Erzabet. I want to thank you for inviting me to chat
today. I look forward to hearing from your readers and hope everyone has a
great afternoon!
1. When did you know you wanted to write erotica?
I started writing erotica almost four years ago. I began writing
paranormal/horror type novellas when I was younger and very Poe-esque short
stories and poems. Erotica snuck up on me one evening when I was blindly
sitting in front of my old-style typewriter letting a stream of conciousness
seep onto the pages. The words just started flying from my fingertips and the
story evolved. It was a BDSM, very dark, but eventually the characters found
their happily ever afters. That original work has since been re-worked and will
be my second release for Loose-Id.
2. Writing about rape and domestic violence has to be tough.
What lead to you to this story line?
Outside of writing, I'm a woman's health nurse. Over the
years I've witnessed every scenario of domestic violence you could imagine. I
feel that silence is the death of hope and if we don't bring these issues to
light, these women have no voice.
3. Abigail is such a diverse character. She is the typical
woman next door, only she runs a porn video empire. Tell us how that idea came
to fruition.
I'd researched the adult film industry for quite some time.
I was compiling material for another project when I found a male adult film
star who was willing to answer my questions. He was able to give me the in's
and out's of the business. Pornography companies are mostly headed by men. The
fastest growing demographic of people purchasing and downloading adult content
is women. I thought, wouldn't it be interesting if a woman was running the
show? And...wouldn't it be interesting if a person could have made-to-order
adult films? Abigail was a woman who had lost all the power and control in her
life. I thought it would be a perfect marriage of conflict for her to gain back
a part of that control in a profession that many believe objectifies women. She
became very successful and quite wealthy in a career where most women are the
actresses and not the ones signing the checks.
4. Tell us about the first erotic scene you ever had to
write. How tough was it to write about what everyone was doing and where things
were going.
I received great advice from a seasoned writer. She told me
to approach sex scenes the same way I would an action scene. It's very
important to know where every body part is going. To be honest it's like
writing a dance sequence. If one person does something, the other has to have a
physical and emotional response. Writing sex scenes isn't my favorite part of
writing. I really like to delve into the erotic tension leading up to those
scenes. I love the romance and emotional involvement of the characters as they
approach the physical expression of how they are feeling. The first erotic
scene I ever wrote came about through a funny situation. I was working as a
customer service agent for a music distributor. One of my co-workers was trying
to write his girlfriend a letter for their anniversary. In his frustration, he
let me read the sappy letter. I told him it was all wrong and then proceeded to
pen a letter she'd really want to read. It was my first
erotic scene staring
my co-worker and his girlfriend. I promised him the dialogue would be
everything she'd want to hear. He came to me later that week to thank me for
writing the great letter. He said his girlfriend went wild and from the look on
his face, their anniversary night went pretty wild too!
5. What is the one thing you want reader to get from your
books?
Confidence! I write full-figured, curvy heroines and I want
every woman who reads my books to leave the last page feeling sexy and worthy
of mind-blowing sensual loving. Curvy gals deserve to find their happily ever
afters too and my books let all women know that they are sexy, mysterious
creatures and are worthy of a hot hunk worshiping their lush form.
6. Tell us about some of your hobbies when you are not
crafting amazing books!
I am addicted to music. I love searching the net and itunes
for interesting new songs. I'm also a huge fan of Mad Men. You can always find
me curled up watching reruns. I also love to cook. I'm no Paula or Rachel, but
I do love to throw dinner parties.
7. What are some of your favorite books?
I have five books that sit in my writing desk drawer.
They've been with me since I turned eighteen and they are my bibles. The pages
are all marked with comments I've left over the years. Alice in
Wonderland/Alice Through the Looking Glass, The Story of O, The Claiming of
Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, and Beauty's Release.
8. Erotica is becoming more acceptable with the huge craze
of 50 Shades. What is your take on it?
Funny you should ask that question. Just today I was
strolling through Wal-Mart gathering some things. It's Tuesday, so I checked
the bookshelves for new releases. The 50 Shades Trilogy was lined up neatly on
the bottom shelf. My eyes roamed skyward and my I almost swallowed my tongue.
There, on the top shelf, were the Beauty books all lined up! Now, of course the
covers had been changed to mimic the Shades covers, but I was stunned all the
same. Talk about two extremes of the genre. It worried me. I'm all for the
Shades publicity opening the door for people to discover the erotic romance
genre, but what a leap! Shades is quite vanilla when it comes to the BDSM
genre. Beauty is, well...dildos with horse tails in the bum. I'm afraid that
the readers who enjoyed Shades might not be quite ready for the hardcore Beauty
series. I'm hoping that doesn't turn off the readers to other great authors who
have an eloquent way of penning this complex genre. I'm
excited that the hype
is trickling down for the other erotic writers. It's opened many readers to
purchasing books that they might not have in the past. It's a woman's world and
our time has come to demand sensual content in what we choose to read and not
be ashamed for wanting to read it.
9. What one piece of advice would you give someone who
wanted to write erotica?
Write! Read Stephen King's book On Writing. And write.
Write. Write. If it doesn't hit the page, it doesn't exist. Erotica is a
special animal because our readers are demanding more. They want something
tangible from the books they read. They want to physically feel the characters
heat and at the same time have an emotional stake in their plight. Let's be
honest. Our readers are buying our books to get a tingle if you know what I
mean. It takes all five senses all the time to draw the reader in, give her/him
a fantasy thrill, and make them feel satisfied in the end. Well written erotic
romance weaves an emotional commitment between the reader and the characters.
If the reader wanted a simple turn on, they could easily download an adult
film. An erotic romance book is different. When we read a novel we fall in love
just like the heroine and we struggle along with the hero. A good writer learns
crafting through character and plot arcs and develops his/her
voice. The writer's
voice is the soul of the book. No voice. No book.
10. What is your current writing project?
My current work in progress is Surrendering Lily. It's set
in the South. Lily is a submissive who knows her time with her loving Dom is
limited. Tony wants out. He's tired and knows he'll never be able to be the man
Lily needs. Tony thinks he's found his replacement for Lily. The story follows
their journey as Lily learns to accept Adam and Tony learns to let go. It's a
domestic discipline novel that will be released by Loose-Id.
Thanks Pauline for stopping by!
What I Liked:
This book handles the topic of domestic violence with an artful pen. Abby is a curvy girl with some body issues. She also has scars that are both on the outside and inside. When bad boy Sean comes in to apply for a job in her porn video business, she begins to lust after him and her finely constructed walls begin to crumble. Sean has his own demons, and is trying to find his way back into the world after being in prison for killing a man while fighting. Together they can face anything. Even Abby's ex who has a score to settle.
What I Didn't:
Not a thing.
Overall:
This story delves into some pretty tough subjects. (Rape, attempted murder, loss of a child) Abby has some weight issues and even more with the scars from when her ex tried to kill her. Hiding behind the scenes in her porn video empire has kept her financially solvent and out of harm's way, but when she meets Sean, all bets are off. Watching isn't enough anymore. She needs to feel him under her hands and on her skin. Sean needs her right back.
This book was an erotic journey into healing and letting love find you, no matter what you have been handed in life.
