Tricks of the Trade

Twenty-something, sexually frustrated plumber, Will Last, is fascinated by an attractive age 40+ woman he sees in the plumbing fixtures isle of a big box store. When he casually strolls her way she strikes up a conversation and begs him to do some emergency plumbing repairs for her.

Mitzi Callahan soon has Will wrapped around her little finger. Will shows her a plumber's trick for quick repair. After revealing that she is a sex trainer, Mitzi returns the favor by showing him a trick or two in the bedroom.

Mitzi opens his world to the enchantment of older women and leads him to an encounter with one of her students, Lucy Park. Sparks fly between Will and Lucy while dancing at the club where they meet, but they must reach out across age and cultural barriers to find the romantic connection they both seek.

Buy link:

http://www.amazon.com/Tricks-Trade-Spencer-Dryden-ebook/dp/B00V7ENFVO/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Excerpt: Tricks of the Trade

"I don't know if this is such a good idea, Mitzi," I said, trapped under the sink where we had been working.

"It's a very good idea," said Mitzi, her voice oozing lust as she loosened my belt.

"But what if one of your guests comes soon?"

Her tug on my zipper echoed inside the cabinet.

"The only one who will be coming soon is you," she said in a sultry voice.

She took my cock into her soft mouth. I held on to the drain pipes for dear life.

****

Mitzi Callahan had me wrapped around her finger only an hour before she had her lips wrapped around my cock. It all started at a big box store on a Friday afternoon. I had shut off my phone an hour before, anxious to get a good workout and a nap before heading out clubbing. Work was the last thing I wanted any more of on a Friday. I stopped at the store for a few replacement supplies.

Normally, I don't see foxy women in their mid-forties perusing the plumbing fittings aisle at the men's mall. I nearly snapped my neck as I walked by the aisle on my way elsewhere. I took a detour down her row, hoping to get a good look, and maybe a whiff of the solidly built woman. Her classic curves beckoned me, promising at least a memory to masturbate to later, after another fruitless Friday evening making the bar scene.

My plans for a harmless look were turned about when she caught sight of me. Her deep brown eyes smoldered with desire as she raked her gaze over me from head to toe. I kept on with my ruse, pretending to be passing through, pausing briefly to inspect several different shut-off valves from the series of bins she was sampling. I threw several in my basket. Having filled my eyes with her breasts and firm round ass, I took in her scent. Her perfume sent me into a fantasy, wondering about sex with a woman probably twenty years older than me. Would she moan and thrash, grateful for the iron cock of youth? Or be like the frozen specimens of womanhood who'd found their way to my bed, barely distracted from texting and primping while I tried dazzling them, pausing only to put their gum on the night stand.

She snapped me back to reality when she reached out and clutched my arm, holding several valves in her other hand.

"You look like you know what you're doing," she said with a husky voice. "Do you know how to install these?"

She held out several types of standard faucet shut-offs.

"Sure, but which one? They're all for different kinds of pipe."

She bit her lower lip and gave me the deer in the headlights look, still clutching my arm.

"That's my problem," she sighed. "I don't know which kind of pipe I have."

Another shopper came down the aisle with a large push cart. The foxy lady stepped aside, right into me, crushing a firm breast directly into my ribcage. A shot of lust rocketed to my cock.

"Excuse me," said the browser, an old man, who helped himself to a look at her curves as he scooted by.

My face flushed as her breast undulated against my ribs. She gave me a lusty grin. "These aisles are too narrow."

She stepped away, taking her luscious breast with her, but she still clutched my arm. She turned back toward the bins and pursed her lips.

"I am so fucked," she mumbled.

"Any plumber could do the job for you."

"I can't get anyone on a Friday afternoon," she hissed. "I've got a houseful coming for a party this evening. I tried to do it myself." She hung her head. "It looks impossible."

"It's really not hard, no matter what kind of pipe you have, if you know a few tricks."

Her face brightened like a spring day.

"Do you know how to do this?"

"Been doing it for years." I fumbled for one of my dog-eared business cards.

Her hand went from my arm to my chest as she read it. "William Last Plumbing. The last plumbing bill you need."

My stupid marketing phrase never sounded so sexy. The words were liquid on her moist lips.

She exploded with joy. "Oh you've got to come and do this for me. Would you?" Her eyes pleaded the way I always wanted a woman to plead for sex. "I'll pay you whatever you ask. I'll even feed you. Please. I'm desperate."

Her gaze was full of a wanton longing, sad, needy but determined. She knew what she was doing and it was working. I nodded and flashed a little smirk. She nearly knocked me over, wrapping her arms around me, crushing her ample breasts into my chest.

"I'm Mitzi. Mitzi Callahan."

I nodded. "It says Bill on my card, but my friends call me Will."

Meet the author:

1. How did you start writing erotic romance? 

I had ambitions of writing non-fiction. I hadn't considered fiction until just a few years ago. In the wake of my mothers passing in April of 2012 I got to spend some time alone at her beach cottage while closing her estate. On my daily beach walks story ideas started popping into my head. I started writing and submitting to anthologies and publishers. Erotic romance was a natural choice for me as I have been enchanted by female allure since I first felt that stirring in my pants at the sight of a naked woman over fifty years ago.

2. Plotter or pantster?

I'm a panster who's trying to become a plotter. My works to date have been short. I'd like to get up into the 30-40 thousand word range, that requires planning. My next work, "The Memory of Mermaids" due out in August from Fireborn Publishing. it is my first work done as a plotter and it has some fun plot twists as a result.

3. What are three things you have on your writing desk?

My laptop, a notebook where I keep hard copies of drafts , and a box of Kleenex. This is allergy season in Minnesota, the crack heads are out trying to convert meth back into Sudafed

4. Favorite food?

The tyranny of Girl Scout Cookie season is over so I'm going to say Brussel sprouts, not because I like them, I don't, but I'm trying not to think about cookies-my favorite food. I've put on a bunch of weight in the last two years and I know I've got to be eating more Brussel sprouts and fewer cookies.

5. Tell us a little about your new release. What character in the book really spoke to you?

"Tricks of the Trade" is another of my tradesmen stories. In this one it also includes young man/older woman. My main character Will Last is a twenty-something sexually frustrated plumber who sees an attractive older woman in the plumbing fittings isle at the big box store. When she learns he's a plumber she begs him to come do some emergency plumbing work for her. He shows her a plumber's trick for doing the repair. While at her house, Will learns that she is a sex coach. She teaches him some tricks to help him in the bedroom and later introduces him to one of her students, Lucy Park. Will and Lucy connect at the dance club where they meet but must cross age and cultural barriers to find the romance they are both seeking.

6. I write because ____

it is a fun safe way of living out may fantasies. As an erotic writer I can sleep with any woman I want and my wife could care less.  How cool is that?

7. What is your favorite type of character to write about?

My favorite type of character is an ordinary guy, typically a tradesman, a little bit clueless, who falls into the orbit of a sexually assertive woman.

8. What is the sexiest scene you ever wrote?

I think it's the love scene in my recent flirt, "Love Above See Level". I have a tall girl teaching a shorter man how to make love to her. I have a thing for tall women. Sadly the book is no longer available. The publisher, Breathless Press closed down recently. I hope to resurrect the story with another publisher

9. What advice would you give new authors in the erotica/romance field?

Concentrate on telling a story, hopefully a compelling story and make the sex a natural part of the story rather than the center of attention.  The reader hooked early.

10 What's next on the horizon for you?

I am just about to begin edits on a fantasy story, "The Memory of Mermaids" due to be released in August by Fireborn Publishing. I'm very excited  as it is a shift away from my handyman tales and is longer as well. A guy down on his luck rescues a mermaid from a sea monster. The mermaid brings him the monster's treasure as a reward then entices him to help her find her lost mermaid sister. He is drawn into a world of pirates' treasure, missing drug money, murderous mobsters, dolphin whisperers and a forbidden love.

Spencer Dryden is a new writer but an old guy on the threshold of draining any reserves left in Medicare and Social Security.

In real life he is a handyman, an at-home dad, inventor and web videographer living a quiet life in the frozen tundra of Minnesota (USA).

Like all writers he has a cat but they don't get along well. He can be found at the usual writer hangouts:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008150288001

Twitter: @SpencerDryden

Email: fictionbyspencer@gmail.com

Breathless Monday: The Substitute by Spencer Dryden

1. How did you start writing erotic romance?

After my mom passed away in 2012 I got to spend a long time alone at her beach house while we closed her estate. On my daily beach walks, I started getting all kinds of story ideas. Realizing at 62 that I wasn't getting any younger, I decided to try my hand at erotic story telling.

2. Plotter or pantster?

Panster, which might explain why my works are short, but I also have a very short attention span.

3. What are three things you have on your writing desk?

My laptop, the ubiquitous cup of coffee and a printed draft of my WIP

4. Favorite food?

I want to say Brussle sprouts or something healthy like that but it's Girl Scout cookie season. Me and the Cookie Monster are twins separated at birth.

5. Tell us a little about your new release. What character in the book really spoke to you?

"The Substitute" is another of my tradesmen stories. In this story, a union journeyman plumber risks his career and assumes a false identity to substitute for a friend who owns a non-union plumbing business. The fun starts at the first job when he is shocked to find the client is expecting sex and not plumbing services.

"Gary", my unsuspecting plumber, torn by lust, his obligation to his friend and his conscience was the first character to speak out. The others developed around him.

6. I write because ____...

It's an inexpensive, fun and engaging pastime to carry into retirement. I'm not going to be one of those retirees who can play a $200 round of golf topped off by dinner at a five star restaurant.

7. What is your favorite type of character to write about?

"Gary" my MC is a sincere, but slightly clueless guy who falls into the orbit of a sexually assertive woman. An ordinary guy in extraordinary circumstances is much more fun for me to write about than alpha males or billionaire bad boys.

8. What is the sexiest scene you ever wrote?

I think it's here in "The Substitute" between "Gary" and the second woman he meets on the job. I hope readers will let me know. By this point in the story there is much more between them than sex for hire. I really tried to focus on the sensual elements, the longing and surrender.

9. What advice would you give new authors in the erotica/romance field?

The best advice I got: write the story you want to hear, the way you want to hear it. I invariably do my best work when I stick close to that advice. When I wander away trying to write to an audience, it's like pulling the plug on creativity.

10. What is next on your writerly horizon?

I have been working along time on a series of stories surrounding an amazing weapon, "The Gueschtunkina Ray Gun". One shot from this weapon renders a woman into a state of extreme sexual arousal. The three part story has time and interstellar travel, a seven foot tall, three breasted female warrior and an evil dude who travels in his own mobile universe. It's lots of fun, but a big challenge for a panster to get multiple plot arcs to come together.

Blurb:

A substitute plumber's world turns upside down when he discovers his buddy's business is providing more than plumbing services to an exclusive female clientele.

A journeyman plumber breaks union rules, risking the loss of his career, and assumes a false identity to substitute for an injured friend who owns a non-union plumbing shop. When "Gary" arrives on the job, he is stunned to discover that the client is expecting sex and not plumbing services. It's the beginning of a day of surprises.

Motivated by his obligation to a friend and seduced by the allure of the client, "Gary" has some of the best sex of his life. He is at peace until he overhears the client making an immediate referral to a friend. Torn between conscience and friendship, he accepts the referral.

His day turns again as Britta initially spurns his services, much to "Gary's" relief, then asks him to do some plumbing work. While he is working, Britta slowly drops her hostile manner, sharing more of her personal story. "Gary" finds himself longing for a deeper connection, but has to dispel Britta's feelings of inadequacy and deal with his hidden identity.

Buy Link

http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=8&products_id=744&zenid=1af6788da73a71e1bc32fda5d7bc3afe

 

Excerpt:

One minute I was getting ready to install a new faucet for this really hot divorcee. The next thing I knew, she was naked, splayed out on the massive onyx granite kitchen island of her fabulous McMansion. Her legs over my shoulders, my work pants on the floor, I'm banging her furiously. She was screaming and panting, heavy breasts flopping like luscious melons, her pussy pouring out love juice over my cock while she clutched the backs of her thighs. Her head thrashed in the pile of her frosted, layered mane of silver and black hair. She was so strong I thought she was going to lift my two-hundred-pound frame from the floor as her back arched in the agony of a hard orgasm.

WTF?

I was breaking all the rules that day, but the last one I ever expected to break was fucking a client on the clock. But technically, she wasn't my client.

My strange odyssey began when my plumbing trade school buddy, Steve, called me in desperation from the ER where he was being treated for a severely turned ankle.

"Dude, you gotta take this job for me today." His voice was full of mirth, making me suspect he was loaded with painkillers.

"Steve, you know I can't do that. I'm a union journeyman, and you're a non-union shop."

I couldn't work for one of my best friends, not within the rules the union had set for us. Rules that protected us from exploitation, but limited our choices.

"It's just one job, goddamnit. I don't have anyone else I can trust."

"Yeah, but that one job could cost me my career."

Bio:

Spencer Dryden is a new to writing fiction, but an old guy on the threshold of draining any reserves left in Medicare and Social Security. In real life he is a handyman, an at-home dad, inventor, and web videographer, living a quiet life in the frozen tundra of Minnesota, USA.

He earned an MBA from a prestigious Midwestern university but is so far behind on the career earnings scale of his peers that the university has offered to refund his tuition if he will return his diploma and disavow his affiliation, lest he continue to denigrate the school's impeccable brand.

He has a beautiful trophy wife ready to spend his royalties. Like all good romance writers, he has a cat but prefers to pet his wife.

This is his fourth work published by Breathless Press.

He can be reached at multiple locations:

Check out his website: http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/

He's on Google+ : https://plus.google.com/+SpencerDryden

Tweet Him at: @SpencerDryden

He is a regular contributor to the multiauthor blog, Oh Get A Grip: http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com

And Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008150288001

If you liked this book, please leave a review at Breathless Press or at Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/goodreadscomspencer_dryden

Breathless Monday: Spencer Dryden and Then, One Frozen Christmas Eve

Happy Breathless Monday! Welcome back Spencer Dryden. Today he brings a holiday Flirt called Then, One Frozen Christmas Eve. Take it away Spencer!

1. How did you start writing erotic romance?  With pen and paper then I switched to my laptop where I do most of my writing now. Seriously though, I had aspirations of writing non-fiction for a long time and in another life I wrote regularly for professional trade journals. I never was an avid fiction reader so I didn't give much consideration to writing fiction. Then one day I find myself at 62 thinking that I better try some of the things I've dreamed about or I'm going to go to my grave with nothing for the people at my wake to talk about. I started writing some fiction-short stories. A friend who is an accomplished playwright read my stuff and told me I should be writing fiction. I have been enchanted by female allure all my life so writing erotica was a natural attraction for me.

2. Plotter or pantster? Panster but trying to become a plotter. I write mainly short works. I'd like to expand but know I'll have to get comfortable plotting.

3. What are three things you have on your writing desk? My laptop, a notebook where I keep hard copies of drafts , and a box of kleenex.

4. Favorite food? I'm going to say Brussel sprouts, not because I like them, I don't, but I'm trying not to think about cookies-my favorite food. I've put on a bunch of weight in the last two years and I know I've got to be eating more Brussel sprouts and fewer cookies.

5. Tell us a little about your new release. What character in the book really spoke to you? "Then, One Frozen Christmas Eve", is a short story in my growing collection of tradesmen stories. My MC (Don Palmer) is a heating technician sent out on a job on freezing cold Christmas Eve.  He meets a woman (Becky) who is in danger of freezing to death without the furnace he can't repair. When he discovers she has no money and no place to go he invites her to stay with him. She is immediately attracted to him and being a bold woman, begins to turn on the heat. Don  suffers from terrible feelings of sexual inadequacy, so he misses the cues. He fantasizes about a romantic connection with Becky but doubts his sex appeal.  Don is a lot like me in my single years.

6. I write because ____it is a fun safe way of living out may fantasies. As an erotic writer I can sleep with any woman I want and my wife could care less.  How cool is that?

7. What is your favorite type of character to write about? My favorite type of character is an ordinary guy, typically a tradesman, a little bit clueless, who falls into the orbit of a sexually assertive woman.

8. What is the sexiest scene you ever wrote? I think it's the love scene in my recent flirt, "Love Above See Level". I have a tall girl teaching a shorter man how to make love to her. I have a thing for tall women.

9. What advice would you give new authors in the erotica/romance field? Concentrate on telling a story, hopefully a compelling story and make the sex a natural part of the story rather than the center of attention. 

10. What is next on your writerly horizon? I have another of my handyman tales due out in January, a novella, "The Substitute". I've been working on a mermaid story for a long time that I hope to get accepted for publication. 

Blurb:

On a freezing cold Christmas Eve, a broken furnace unites a lonely heating technician and his client who is forced out of her home.

On a snowy, frigid Christmas Eve in Minnesota, a heating technician makes an emergency call to a townhome without heat. Don is unable to repair the unit and tells Becky, the occupant, she must vacate the premises and stay in a hotel for her own safety. Becky breaks down and tells Don she has no money and no place to go. She has no friends or family locally and has maxed out her credit cards relocating from San Diego. Don invites her to stay with him until the furnace can be replaced.

Don is smitten by her good looks and warm, inviting manor. He begins to fantasize about a romantic connection, but is restrained by a crippling fear of his sexual inadequacy. Safe at his apartment, Becky turns up the heat on the shy divorcee. Can she melt his fears of intimacy and give him an unforgettable Christmas?

Buy Link

http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=9&products_id=703

Excerpt:

It was more than the combination of fear and hope in her eyes. I see that all the time as a heating and cooling technician. It was something else. Something erotic that made my cock stir as I stepped into her chilly townhome. My cock was buried under three layers of warm clothing—it was twenty-four cock-shrinking degrees below zero outside—but there had always been a path from eyes to cock. Usually it was a luscious pair of breasts pouring from a peek-a-boob shirt, or a firm, round ass that flashed the go code from eyes to groin. All fair-weather sightings. She was so deeply layered in mismatched clothing there was no sign of her sexuality, except for her sparkling blue eyes that quickly changed from fearful to full of mirth and a hint of lust. They were stroking my cock.

This surreal moment had been orchestrated by mother nature, who decided on December 23 to dump a paralyzing thirty inches of snow on Minneapolis, followed the next day, Christmas Eve, by an artic blast locals call a Polar Vortex. It drags extremely cold air directly from the North Pole. This isn't the cold of some cutesy Hallmark Channel romance movie where a couple trapped in quaint cabin by a winter snow rekindle an old love between commercials for Viagra and pain relievers. This is bone-chilling, mind-numbing, dangerous cold, where just a few minutes of unprotected exposure causes severe frostbite. It's one of the reasons we native Minnesotans aren't all that fashionable six months out of the year. We'd rather be warm than look hot.

My employer, a big heating and air-conditioning contractor, had cancelled all Christmas vacation requests the minute the snow started flying. Didn't matter. The airport and interstate highways were closed. Without a four-wheel drive tank like my service truck, negotiating city streets was difficult, if not impossible.

Heating systems were failing due to the extreme conditions. It made the cash register ring for my employer. As much as I hated it, the crisis offered me lots of overtime, earning pay at time and a half. I even volunteered to be on call for Christmas Day, which paid triple time. I didn't have anywhere else to go anyhow. My wife left me for my best ex-friend Ray six months ago. Sometimes in the quiet of the evening, I still heard her gasping in ecstasy as I came through the front door. I was home early, only to find her beneath Ray, her legs splayed wide as he rammed her furiously. She never made that kind of joyful noise when we made love. It took my breath and my heart. I had turned on my heel and walked out.

Spencer Dryden is a new writer but an old guy on the threshold of draining any reserves left in Medicare and Social Security. In real life he is a handyman, an at-home dad, inventor, and web videographer living a quiet life in the frozen tundra of Minnesota (USA).

He earned an MBA from a prestigious Midwestern university, but is so far behind on the career earnings scale of his peers that the university has offered to refund his tuition if he will return his diploma and disavow his affiliation, lest he continue to denigrate the school's impeccable brand.

His first book, a novella, Bliss was published in April of 2014 in the Covert line at Breathless Press. It is a story of a woman's struggle with sexual shame. http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=26&products_id=559

He can be reached at multiple locations:

Check out his website: http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/

He's on Google +: https://plus.google.com/+SpencerDryden

Tweet him at: @SpencerDryden

He is a regular contributor to the multi-author blog, Oh Get A Grip: http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com

And Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008150288001

If you liked this book, please leave a review at Breathless Press or at Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/goodreadscomspencer_dryden

Breathless Monday: Love Above See Level

Happy Monday and once more we invite the talented and swoon worthy Spencer Dryden to Erzabet's Enchantments to share his new flirty short. Take it away Spencer! 

1. How did you start writing erotic romance?

I have never written fiction before my first novella, "Bliss", unless you count the marketing reports I used to do for my managers. I had thought about writing for a long time, but never made time until recently. A friend who is an reasonably accomplished playwright read some of my early stuff and told me I ought to try writing fiction. I have been enchanted by female allure since I first felt that stirring in my pants at the sight of a naked woman more than a half century ago, so erotic romance was a natural choice. (Yes, I'm an old guy.)

2. Plotter or pantster?

Definitely a panster which is why I gravitate to shorter works.

3. What are three things you have on your writing desk?

My smart phone (dumb operator though), my kindle, and the ubiquitous  cup of coffee

4. Favorite food?

Based on lifetime consumption, it would have to be doughnuts but I have to come off as a more responsible eater so lets go with green beans (NOT!)

5. Tell us a little about your new release. What character in the book really spoke to you?

"Love Above See Level" is a story about a surfer/beach bum, Clayton Stoner,  a guy who's lifestyle I've always wanted, laid back, doing his own thing. One day while watching the surf, he is smitten by the sight of a very tall woman he sees paddle surfing and decides he has to make a play for her. That's where the fun starts. Can a guy find romance with a woman a foot taller than he is?

6. I write because ____...

It's a fun outlet and cheap. I'm turning 65 in January. Living large on less requires discipline with the entertainment dollars. You won't see me on luxury cruises or any of those other things the marketing people show seniors  doing.

7. What is your favorite type of character to write about?

Most of my short works, like "Love Above See Level" feature ordinary guys, tradesmen. Clayton Stoner is a part-time handyman. I've got  stories in the pipeline about heating and air-condition guys, plumbers and I'm just starting one featuring an electrician. Ordinary guys that fall into extraordinary circumstances and into the orbit of sexually assertive women.

8. What is the sexiest scene you ever wrote?

So far it's the love scene in "Love Above See Level".

9. What advice would you give new authors in the erotica/romance field?

There is so much writing advice directed to new writers that focuses on mechanics. Be wary, it can steal your voice. I write best when I write from my heart. My stories are about my fantasies. I'm getting published so I must be doing something right

10. What is next on your writerly horizon?

I have another story which will appear in a holiday season theme collection from Breathless Press called, "Then, One Frozen Christmas Eve." It's another tradesman story, this time a heating technician who rescues a woman from a freezing townhome. Next is a story about a plumber called, "The Substitute". It's a story about a union plumber who breaks union rules to substitute for a friend who owns a non-union shop. The fun starts when he shows up on the first job and discovers the client is expecting sex and not plumbing services.

Blurb-

A beach bum/surfer is smitten by a six feet seven inches tall. But can his infatuation turn to love above see level?

Clayton Stoner is a blond, bronzed, hard-bodied, beach bum/surfer living the life of a thirty-one-year-old Peter Pan in a tiny oceanside cottage near St. Augustine, Florida. One calm Sunday, he sees a strikingly beautiful woman who is six feet seven inches tall taking paddle surfing lessons at the local surfer's beach. He is immediately smitten, but unable to get her attention when he encounters her at a nearby convenience store, and again, later that day, as she is running along the beach where he is relaxing.

They finally connect when he is sent to do plumbing repair work at the beach cottage she is renting. She continues to spurn his friendly advances. It looks hopeless for him until fate intervenes. But can a laid-back surfer and a woman driven by career achievement see eye to eye well enough for a long-term relationship?

Buy Link

http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=9&products_id=686

Excerpt-

A light offshore breeze did little to dry the sweat on our brows as we sat on the front porch of my beach cottage, transfixed by the surf. Our suits were still wet from our frustrating day trying to ride waves that wouldn't form. Nothing dries in North Florida humidity except throats after a day of sun and surf. My buddy Smitty and I were several beers in before I finally broke the ice.

"So, Smitty, what do you do when you find your eyes are at tit level with a beautiful woman?"

"My eyes are always at tit level with women."

"Asshole, I'm not talking about where your eyes are looking. I'm talking about height. What if your eyes were only as high as a woman's breasts?"

"Are these breasts sagging down to her belly button?"

I made a cross with my fingers and held it up to him, hoping his flesh would burn. "No, in fact, they were small and pushing straight out. She was very trim."

"If you had leaned forward, would you have got one nipple in each eye?"

"Stop it. I'm being serious here."

"So am I. She could put your eye out."

"That's my beer you're drinking," I said. "You could at least give me some decent advice."

He rubbed his chin as if it would make him smarter. Smitty only thought with his cock, and I was glad he didn't whip it out and rub it for insight.

"Dude, they're all the same height lying down. And a tall one can wrap her legs around you twice. What's your problem?"

I huffed and shook my head. "Smitty, if they ever cut your head open, nothing but pussy would fall out."

"Okay, Stoner, I've got a half a beer left, and then I got to go. The mullet are running, and I want to come down tonight to do some fishing. Are you with me?"

"No. I've got an early job tomorrow."

"Would you mind if I parked in your driveway then?"

"No problem."

"I promise I'll be extra quiet if I see a couple of legs hanging out the window."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dude, if you get that woman into your bedroom, there's no way she's gonna fit on your bed without hanging her legs out the window."

Smitty had a point. My beach cottage was pretty small.

"So where did you meet this beauty?" Smitty asked, catching a belch.

"Well, we haven't really met yet. I was in line in front of her down at the Circle K earlier today. I turned around, and there I was with my nose in her breasts."

"So what's her name, where does she live, and is she available?"

I shrugged.

About the author-

Spencer Dryden is a new writer but an old guy on the threshold of draining any reserves left in Medicare and Social Security. In real life he is a handyman, an at-home dad, inventor, and web videographer living a quiet life in the frozen tundra of Minnesota (USA).

He earned an MBA from a prestigious Midwestern university, but is so far behind on the career earnings scale of his peers that the university has offered to refund his tuition if he will return his diploma and disavow his affiliation, lest he continue to denigrate the school's impeccable brand.

His first book, a novella, Bliss was published in April of 2014 in the Covert line at Breathless Press. It is a story of a woman's struggle with sexual shame. http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=26&products_id=559

He can be reached at multiple locations:

Check out his website: http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/

He's on Google +: https://plus.google.com/+SpencerDryden

Tweet him at: @SpencerDryden

He is a regular contributor to the multi-author blog, Oh Get A Grip: http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com

And Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008150288001

If you liked this book, please leave a review at Breathless Press or at Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/goodreadscomspencer_dryden

Bliss

Christina McArdle must cast out the demons of her past and present or lose the love of her life.

In the prosperous community of Bliss, New Hampshire, in 1995, Christina McArdle is living a feminist dream. In short order she has become the first female partner of the venerable, male dominated CPA firm of Driscol, Ryan, Jensen and Palmer. The honor followed by her selection as the first female member of the prestigious Maplewood Country Club.

But Christina fears that her career success has come at a terrible price. Her husband, Ben, has lost sexual interest in her. Unable to ignite his passion for her and desperate for understanding of her own inhibitions, Christina turns to Dr. Rachel Morrisey, a sex therapist, who helps her uncover dark secrets from her past. Christina's path to recovery is blocked by a misogynistic pastor who traps her and many other women of her church in a shame bind that serves his purulent interests.

Her path to freedom requires Christina to break bonds from past and present or lose the thing she loves most in life—the love of husband and family.

Author Interview:

1. How did you start writing erotic romance?

When  friend suggested I should try writing fiction, I thought I would have the most success writing about the most pressing thing on my mind. I'm a guy so that means sex.

2. Plotter or pantster?

Panster which makes writing even a novella a stretch for me because it involves plotting. Most of my work is short story fiction of erotic male fantasy.

3. What are three things you have on your writing desk?

Coffee cup, a binder holding my collection of yet unpublished short stories, a phrase book I keep for writing down beautiful passages from other authors.

4. Favorite food?

By volume it's cookies. I am a foodie though so next would be anything I can cook on the grill.

5. Tell us a little about your new release. What character in the book really spoke to you?

"Bliss" is a story about a woman's struggle with sexual shame. My main character, Christina McArdle, is on a rocket ride to professional success but is struggling inside. Her husband, Ben, has lost sexual interest in her. She doesn't have the tools to address her sexuality so she goes to a shrink and begins uncovering unaddressed psychic damage from a sexual assault in her youth. Her struggle is further compounded by a misogynistic pastor who's on a purity crusade among the men at the church where Christina and her husband attend. She has to cast out demons of past and present or lose the love of her life.

Although Christina is the main character I really like her husband, Ben. I want to be Ben when I grow up. He's an at-home dad like me but a very rock solid guy. I don't want to give plot away but the story of Ben and Christina meeting the first time is my favorite scene in the book.

6. I write because ____...

Wow if I knew I could open a practice as a shrink.  I don't do it out of suffering. I enjoy it and it's much cheaper than other pass times. How can you not like erotic romance? I can make love to any woman I want and my wife could care less.

7. What is your favorite type of character to write about?

"Bliss" is very different for me. It's  a female POV with dark overtones. The bulk of my published and unpublished work is male erotic  fantasy laced with humor, where my main character tends to be a slightly clueless guy who falls into the clutches of a sexually aggressive woman.

8. What is the sexiest scene you ever wrote?

It's in a yet to be published short story called, "The Substitute."

9. What advice would you give new authors in the erotica/romance field?

This may sound strange. I'd say be wary. I don't have enough street cred to be passing out writing advice like candy. In fact at the start, I deliberately ignored all the advice about studying genres, presentation, query letters, proper English. All of those necessary things interfere with the creative process for me. I decided I would write and write and then after I was comfortable with my voice and style I'd start on those other tasks. So my advice is write a lot. Tell the story you want to hear in the voice and style you want to hear it in. That's what I did. I have only been writing for two years and in that time I have placed two short stories in anthologies and got a contract for "Bliss".

10. What is next on your writerly horizon?

I have another novella looking for a home, a mermaid story. I have a growing collection of short stories I'd like to get published—male erotic fantasies.  I have been working on and off for some time on a three part sci/fi fantasy series surrounding "The Gueschtunkina Ray Gun." One blast from this gun renders a woman into a state of extreme sexual arousal. It's fun, funny and wild.

Dr. Rachel Morissey touched Christina's arm gently and handed her another tissue.

"Mrs. McArdle, I'm a sex therapist and not a family doctor. I find that I need to speak about sex bluntly in order to get through people's resistance." She searched Christina's eyes to see if she was tracking. It had been a hard first session. Taking the first steps in breaking down resistance, confronting demons, bringing up painful personal memories always brought tears.

"Sexuality is a hard discussion topic for couples. I don't mean to diminish your pain, but so far it's like so many others. When you're young, sex may be clumsy, but quantity is a quality all its own. So is time. Now you're thirty-five, a working professional mother of young twins, with an at-home husband. You're both living in a different world from your parents, and there are a lot of demands on your time that sap sexual energy. In this phase of life, you have to be much more intentional about sex." Dr. Morissey paused again, waiting for Christina to process. "Lying in bed in the dark, waiting for your husband to initiate sex, isn't a good strategy for fostering intimacy."

Christina wiped away another nagging tear.

"But there's something else I need to explore," said Dr. Morissey. "I am wondering if you were ever raped or sexually abused?"

"Why? Is that important?" asked Christina.

"Very. It often creates problems with intimacy years later. You seem almost fearful of sex."

Christina hung her head. "I was nearly raped once," she whispered.

"So you were assaulted."

"I guess."

"Mrs. McArdle, I'm sensing a lot of guilt here. Physical contact without your permission is assault. It's another person's crime, not yours. You said nearly raped. What happened?"

Christina shuddered as she recalled the forbidden memory. "We had a boy in our neighborhood that was a bully to the boys and terror to the girls. Nobody would do anything about him. Our parents told us to stay away. But he would hide out and grab girls, rip their clothes off, and grope them. It happened to many of my friends."

"How old were you then?"

"Eighth grade."

"Did he actually do forceful penetration on any of his victims?"

"You sound like the police now."

"It's an important distinction, especially with a minor perpetrator."

"No. He didn't."

"What happened with you?"

"I was taking a shortcut home across the athletic fields one evening. No one was around. He jumped out from between the outbuildings, threw me down to the ground, and jumped on top of me. I tried to fight, but he had his hand on my throat."

Christina unconsciously reached for her throat and pulled on her necklace.

"Sometimes I can still feel him squeezing my throat," she said through closed eyes. "I couldn't breathe. I tried to scream but couldn't. He was pressing down on me with his crotch between my legs."

"Were his pants on?"

"Yes, but he was humping me like some kind of animal."

Christina gasped as if she were going to scream. "Finally, he leaned down and put his cheek next to mine. I was hysterical with fear, that's why I did it."

"Did what?"

"I bit off a big chunk of his ear."

Christina rolled forward, put her head between her knees, and sobbed.

"Now we're getting somewhere. What happened after that?"

Christina rose up, brushing away tears with a clenched fist. "He ran away screaming and told his parents that I had attacked him." She had to stop to catch her breath. "The police came to our house and asked me a lot of questions. Nothing happened to him. I got suspended from school. Can you believe it?" The rage faded to sorrow. Christina wept softly again. "I got so much grief for that, Dr. Morissey. Did I do right? I was just so scared and desperate."

Some men are born great, others strive for greatness; still others have greatness thrust upon them. Spencer Dryden is none of these men. In fact, he is so unimpressive, he leaves no footprints on newly fallen snow. He was trained in fiction writing on the job with the many sales reports he produced for his managers, winning the coveted "keep your job contest" three years running. His expense reports are still considered masterpieces of forgery by the bankruptcy trustee of his former employer. He lives an unremarkable life in a suburb of a northern city. His friends and family would drop dead in horror if they knew of his secret life as a writer of erotica. He hates the family cat but still loves to pet his wife.