The
way he uses me is violent. Primitive. Demeaning. And all I can think is, don’t stop.
He warned
me he was going to be rough. He warned me I’d feel alarmed when he shoved his
cock all the way down my throat. I was ready for that.
I
wasn’t ready for the names he would call me.
Or to
be so wildly turned on by it all.
It’s
as if we crossed over to the right side of wrong, and everything is too hot,
and his cock is too huge, and I have too many clothes. I want him to lay me out
and use me. I want him to do anything to me. Everything to me.
I
pull back, knowing he’ll shove my head back onto his cock, and he does, fingers
digging into my scalp.
My
nipples rub on his legs, heating—from the friction, maybe—and I nearly get off.
It’s pure madness. Usually I need a lot of help.
But this
is Aleksio being Aleksio. He always went too far, and I always loved him for
it.
I
feel when he’s going to come.
“No
teeth. Don’t you fucking…” He jerks into my throat. The orgasm goes on forever.
He holds my head firmly in his grip, panting.
I
move my tongue a tiny bit and he clutches my hair. “God! Don’t move.”
I
feel dazed. Heart pounding. This was the wildest and most powerful sexual
experience of my life and I didn’t even come.
“Okay,”
he whispers after a while, gently extracting himself from me. I sit on the
coffee table, wiping my mouth and striking the tears from my cheeks.
His
eyes shine, and I know he felt power of what just happened. The mad connection.
Deep down, I know that neither of us have been here before. He reaches out and brushes
my hair from my forehead.
That’s
when I see the gun in his other hand, dark and cold and black.
He was holding a gun?
Why? Why would he need a gun?
“Don’t
worry, the safety was on.” He puts it aside, eyes averted, and then he swipes
his phone off the floor. He presses something. A red light goes off.
My
mouth falls open. “What the hell? What did you do?”
“Saved
your finger.”
Red.
A record light.
He
tucks himself in, zips himself up.
He
recorded us? Why record us like that? With him holding a gun? Why would he want
to make it look like he was being a violent asshole, forcing me to do that?
Suddenly
everything in the room gets too bright, too real. “No!” I go for the phone.
He
grabs my wrist, hauling me up off the couch with him. “Leave it.”
“You’re
going to show that recording to him? No!” I try to twist free. “You can’t!”
He
can and he will.
I’m
flooded with shame for how much I enjoyed it. And Aleksio made a movie out of
it! To frighten Dad!
“Fuck!”
I jerk and twist, trying to get at the phone. “You can’t! Please.”
“Sorry.”
“Oh
my God!”
That’s
when Viktor comes in. He regards us calmly, like it’s no big deal Aleksio is manhandling
me. Aleksio tosses the phone to his brother. “Play it.”
“No!
Don’t!”
Viktor
taps the screen.
“Don’t
watch it!” I go for Viktor now, but Aleksio has me.
“You
can’t send Dad that clip.”
“We’re
not sending him your bloody finger, isn’t that what you wanted?”
Aleksio.
So cool, so smooth. Like it meant nothing to him. And me like an idiot, getting
off on his rough treatment. Making myself vulnerable to him. Showing him
something I never even showed myself. I want to die.
Viktor
pockets the phone. “Her severed finger would be more extreme. More urgency. But
this is more pain for the old man.”
“You
guys are animals!”
Aleksio
tightens hold on me. “You need to be done going crazy or we’ll handcuff and gag
you.”
“You
have to erase it!”
“You
prefer the finger? That’s what you’re saying here?”
I
trusted Aleksio. I followed him somewhere extreme, and he ripped my heart open.
Cutting off my finger seems tame in comparison.
“You’re
thinking about it? Fuck! No. Fuck that.” He turns to Viktor. “Call and see if
the sack of shit’s awake.”
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