To celebrate the release of Covert Affair, Totally Bound are giving
away a bundle of ebooks by Geraldine O’Hara. Enter here for your chance to win:
https://www.totallybound.com/index.php?route=information/competition&competition_id=23&utm_source=erzabetenchantments&utm_medium=booktour&utm_campaign=covertaffair
Getting to know your new partner can be an exciting time, yet asking
questions outright to garner more information doesn’t feel right at first. We
seem conscious of being nosey, don’t we, or pushing for too much too soon. Ah,
that dance we do, where we glide around the main subject hoping we don’t offend
or upset the one we’re starting to love. Lovely, isn’t it? Can you remember
feeling like that?
We can devise ways of gleaning snippets from them, and in Covert Affair, Mandy does just that. She
plays a game with her friend, Jen, called What’s her Secret? They see people
then describe what their lives might be like. With Leon, Mandy wants to play
the game to see if he’ll indulge her, and, I suspect, to find out whether what
she shared with Jen could now be transferred to Leon. She’s switching from
having a best friend in Jen to a lover with Leon. Perhaps she’s asking herself
whether Leon can fill Jen’s shoes and be her best friend too?
She also wants to discover his viewpoint on certain things, to
further find out what he’s like. It beats the embarrassing prospect of
pointedly asking him questions—and also saves him the embarrassment of having
to answer honestly. We’ve all been there, not giving our true reaction in case
our new partner thinks we’re weird, horrible or whacky. Putting feelers out,
doing that dance, is sometimes the only way.
And this subject also leads to us being who we’re not. We’re giving
out the impression we’re a nicer form of ourselves so our new lovers only see
the best of us. Also, whenever Mandy realises she’s showing more of her true
self than she can handle, or she doesn’t think she can just be her normal self, she creates a new
persona, hiding who she really is so Leon doesn’t see her. In the excerpt below, they have just been in contact with
a man who scares them. Mandy starts a game of What’s her Secret to get her mind
off that man, and later, when he enters her thoughts again, she does what she
does best—becomes someone else entirely.
If only she knew that Leon would love her no matter who she is…
Excerpt:
“Me and Jen play this
game,” I said, explaining it to him. “Want to play?”
“Could do,” he said.
“Something to do while we’re walking.”
“That couple there.
Under the streetlamp. What do you see?”
It would be
interesting to get a man’s perspective. I knew Leon was romantic, a different
kind of man from any other I’d been with, and the fact that he was prepared to
join in on something that might be seen as girly was a bonus in itself.
I was keeping
him—forever. Never letting go.
“Two people who are
kissing,” he said.
He’d need a bit of
help getting into this.
I groaned. “Is that
all? You don’t get anything else? Even something made up?”
A gull swooped down in
front of us, beady eyes like Cauli’s, its beak open as if it wanted to peck my
nose off. Or maybe it wanted to see if we had any chips it could steal. I
squealed.
He laughed. “Bloody
hell. They’re a nuisance, they are.”
He led me across the
road, and on the other side I admired a horse and carriage that I assumed was
used for up-and-down journeys along the seafront. If horses didn’t scare me to
death I’d have asked Leon if he fancied a trip, but seeing as they did and I
wanted to keep my knickers clean, I didn’t bother.
“So, the game?” I
said. “What can you come up with about that couple?”
“I don’t think I’m on
the same wavelength as you and Jen, but okay, I’ll give it a go. They’re having
an affair. Is that the way you play it?”
“Yes, go on.”
“She’s married and has
managed to get away for a long weekend. Maybe she’s been seeing that man for a
while, I don’t know.”
A gaggle of women came
towards us, off their faces on alcohol, on a hen night by the look of them.
Their outfits left a lot to be desired, skin on show in abundance, blown-up
condoms attached to their scanty dresses. I could see me and Jen doing that.
Then I realised it would only be me and her on my hen night—I didn’t really
have any other female friends—as the others in our gang were male.
“Where did they meet,
that couple?” I prompted.
“Online,” he said. “On
one of those dating agencies. You’ve seen the adverts for them, right? Uniform
dating or whatever. She knew her marriage wasn’t going anywhere so signed up
for a laugh. Her friends made her do it. Let her sign up using one of their
credit cards so she didn’t get caught using hers. Umm, let me think. She didn’t
expect to find someone she clicked with so soon. He’s single and spends most of
his time tormenting himself that he can’t be with her as much as he wants to.”
He sighed. “I know that feeling.”
“Me too, but when we
go back home we’ll get it all out in the open.”
I imagined sitting in
The Rusty Nail, around one of the tables, and explaining that we were a couple
now. It would change the dynamics of our gang, no doubt about it, and poor
Marshall would possibly feel left out if Jen and Gary announced they were also
together.
“I wonder,” I
continued, “whether Marshall’s ever thought of an online dating agency.”
Leon laughed—hard and
loud. “What? Are you kidding? He’s too shy for that kind of thing. I mean, look
at him. He doesn’t approach women, only ever goes out with any if they ask him. We keep telling him to grow some balls but so far they haven’t
got any bigger.”
“Like you and Gary,
you mean? From what I remember, you
had no balls to ask me out. Gary
arranged it all for you. The conversation about it before you came round was on
Facebook, of all places.”
“Shit, that seems like
so long ago, doesn’t it? Yet it wasn’t. Only a few months.”
I glanced across at
him. He had a wistful look on his face—eyes dreamy, the touch of a smile on his
lips. Were memories floating through his mind like they were in mine? I
recalled the night we’d finally got together. In the Rusty Nail. Leon with a
T-shirt held over his head by one of the others, his torso on show. Me going up
to him and pretending to be a woman named Pussy Pwoar. I’d got my first touch
of him then, had rubbed his torso, thinking I’d never get to do it again after
that. But later, Gary had brought him round to my flat, Leon blindfolded, me
seducing him—or making an effort to anyway. I’d thought he hadn’t known it was
me yet he had.
Happiness spread
through me and I grinned. “A few months of hiding and lying. It was fun, I’ll give
you that, but enough’s enough. But it was bloody good fun. Exciting.”
“It was. Best thing
that’s ever happened to me.”
I love you.
“So, you need to
finish your ‘What’s her Secret?’ story,” I said. “How will it end for them?”
“She’s so in love with
that man she’ll leave her husband. She might not even go back home after this
weekend. She has no children so there isn’t any need, and she has the kind of
job she could transfer easily.” He shrugged. “There you go, happily ever after.
That do you?”
“That wasn’t a bad
start. You could get very good at this game.”
“I take it you play it
often?”
“We used to. Lately,
not at all. Seeing as I’ll be spending more time with you now instead of Jen,
you’ll need to prepare yourself for indulging me.”
He groaned. “I’ll do
anything for you.”
I giggled and spotted
our hotel ahead. I glanced around us, checking to see if we’d been followed. We
hadn’t as far as I could tell.
A glittering sign for
a casino grabbed my attention and all thoughts of Cauli loitering or us getting
drunk on a pub crawl went out of my head.
“Shall we go there?” I
said, pointing.
“Bloody hell, do you
think I’m made of money?” he joked.
“No, but we could play
the slots. That won’t cost much if we stretch it out over a couple of hours.
And we could play ‘What’s her Secret?’ except we’re the couple with a made-up
life. We can pretend we’re rich, that casinos are something we visit all the time.
I brought a nice dress with me, and you’ve got your suit. Come on, what d’you
say? Shall we become Mr and Mrs Ponsonby or whatever? Be someone else for the
rest of the night?”
“What is it with you
and your identities? As if Pussy Pwoar wasn’t enough, you’re dragging me into
being another person with you.”
“Aww, come on. It’ll
be fun, I promise.”
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