How to be Kinky is a primer on the multifaceted world of kink and getting into BDSM play. It is for beginners and novices, couples and singles. Here, Morpheous tackles topics that aren’t regularly addressed in other sex etiquette books. Most books on BDSM lean heavily towards clinical issues and tools/techniques. There are books on being “a top” or “a bottom”, but the wide spectrum of human dynamics in BDSM play is not covered.
This beginner’s guide addresses all aspects of enhancing your sex life with kinky play. Singles and couples who are new to the scene will appreciate material on the basics of BDSM play and role playing, how to turn your bedroom into a den of iniquity, discovering kinky uses for common household objects, proper protocols and etiquette at fetish events, the physiological and psychological aspects of pleasure and pain, and how to maintain physical and emotional safety during play.
This enhanced second edition is reworked in full color, with gorgeous and sexy photographs, as well as 15 easy to follow photo essays. Communication, fun, and safety are at the forefront of this top-selling beginner's guide, and once you’ve finished you’ll be wondering How to Be Kinkier!
If you are looking for a beginners guide to BDSM with instruction and amazing color illustrations, then look no further than How to Be Kinky. I loved this book for the down to earth basics and illustrations that show you what is what.
Every time I see a new release from this great author, I get a little tingle down my spine because I know it is going to be quality photography and information. There is passion for the craft within every page.
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Learn about:
Knot tying
Fetish parties
Safety
Terms used in BDSM
Gagging
Toys
Perspectives from Dominants and submissives
Social parameters
Spanking
And a whole lot more!
This book is broken up into chapters:
1. A Look At Play
2. Social Parameters
3. Scenarios
4. What's On the Menu
5. From Online to Real Life
6. Pain and Pleasure
7. Kink In Toyland
8. Safety
9. Calling in the Professionals
10. Staying Safe and Having Fun Online
As you can see, there is a lot of information. Author Morpheous takes the time to reference kinksters in the act and shows the how to's. This book literally has something for everyone. It lovingly goes into every possible aspect of BDSM that a beginner needs to be aware of for fun and safety. To go beyond...check out How to Be Kinkier too!
Awesome and a 5/5!
1. How did you get involved in the BDSM lifestyle?
Like a lot of people I grew up feeling my desires were somehow "different" from others and I never knew that there would be a whole community of people that liked to do some of the same things I did. In the early 90's I got invited to my first fetish party through a piercing studio and made some new friends. It was very relieving to know there were others just like me and I had met some of them. Back in the pre internet days you had to know someone who knew someone who would invite you to the private parties. I think that while there is a romantic charm in looking back at those days, the internet helps people connect faster and more readily so they don't feel as alone for as long. It is a double edged sword of course and you have to use your good judgment. Back in "the day" a successful munch would be if a dozen to 20 people showed up. In Toronto the TNG group now takes over the upper floor of a pub and hosts around 120 people each munch. That speaks volumes for both the effectiveness of the internet to connect people and to help keep others safe(er) by demonstrating there is a community they can rely on as a support system instead of feeling alone.
2. What were your favorite things about writing the How to be Kinky books?
I am a firm believer in writing about what you know. I have traveled across North America and Europe teaching classes on safety, bondage, play and everything in between and what is always reinforced is no matter the city or country, kinksters are people just like everywhere. We all want to be loved, to love and to share and feel a sense of belonging. It is always a great joy to meet people from all over and learn new things. Believe it or not, after 20 yrs of being in the scene, I still see new things in the scene! I love to meet people and this is definitely the best part of writing.
3. Cheeseburgers or sushi?
Cheeseburgers! I am an accomplished underwater photographer (in my vanilla interests) so eating my little buddies from under the sea is really not part of my outlook on life :)
4. What is your favorite knot or technique for rope play?
Easily the Lark's Head or Prusik Knot (both very similar). When playing in a public area or performing, I rely on non slipping knots that will stay where I put them but are also easy and quick to untie in the right circumstances. These knots perform amazingly. I believe that how you end a rope scene is just as important as how it begins and using knots that will not jam or be unsightly or get in the way is essential to helping create the whole ambiance of a scene. I want my rope bunny to be enraptured with the process of being bound, not feeling frustrated that I have to work a few knots open with a marlin spike because it tightened too much with the suspension. I want things to be just as fluid and connected as we are ending our dance together as much as we started it.
5. If you were to talk to a beginner just starting out with BDSM, what would you tell them to start with?
Get offline. Get out and meet people that are into the same things you are. Go to larger munches, ask questions and never play the same day as your first munch. How do you find all these great communities and people? Easy - go online :) I know I know, I am not making this easy am I? The real world and real experiences are so much better than any of the fantasies in your head, because you can have the chance to live them and meet others in the community. That is so much better than hiding behind a computer screen.
6. Flogger, whip or paddle?
A signal or snake whip. Mmmmmmmmm.... I don't think there is anything else in the world of BDSM that better symbolizes what it is we "do" than a whip. It is elegant and strong and takes real skill to master it, much as one must master one's self before they can expect someone to master them.
7. Favorite ice cream flavor? (I know it can't be vanilla!)
I pick two so I am cheating a little here. There is a terrific little homemade ice cream stand down the road from my cottage up in the Canadian north. It is just outside of town and a small log cabin building that makes their own ice cream each summer and it overlooks one of the larger lakes. There is nothing better than going just before sunset on a warm summer's night with the water right on the edge, sitting on the tailgate of your cousin's truck and eating a scoop of orange sherbet on top of Death by Chocolate below wedged snugly into a waffle cone while everyone watches the sun set. Oh yeah and there is a statue of a cow on the roof. As teenagers we may or may not have been known to climb up late at night and ride that cow. LOL
8. Tell us a little about some of the educational work you do.
I come from a formal background in education and believe that the more people know about a subject the potentially safer it becomes. I want to help dispel myths and reinforce facts when it comes to education. What may or may not be my kink is not the issue, what is decidedly important is that people have access to knowledge and information so they can make their own informed choice.
9. Finding kinky things around the house can be a huge cost saver and gets the creative juices flowing in more ways than one. What are some of your favorite finds?
I will forever be a fan or chop sticks and elastic bands. They are such wonderfully mean improvised clamps! The tongue nipples, labia, head of the cock, tips of the fingers - just about anywhere you think you might want to use them on someone. It costs pennies and it can make a Friday night date all the more interesting.
10. What two things do you think any kinkster should have in their arsenal?
I am going to answer this in two ways:
1) knowledge, support and a real sense of accountability. Whatever it is you do, there are real consequences, both you and to other's in the scene. Don't do things that are outside your skill level and when you want to build it, ask someone better than you. The experienced people were just like the newbies at one point and we are happy to share what we have learned to make things safer.
2) in the toy bag: 60' of 1/4" nylon braided rope off the spool from the hardware store cut into 2, 20' lengths and 2, 10' lengths, Something to hit someone with like a paddle or belt and a soft fuzzy fur mitt to stroke and give a different sensation from the paddle. Oh yes and safety shears. Always have safety shears before anyone gets tied up.
11. What are you working on now?
I would love to share but I am under a non disclosure contract. However I can tell you that I have two more books I am signed for and right now I am researching and writing them. It will take a while to put them together because travelling and meeting others is such an integral part of my writing process but you should see something by early 2014. I can promise that they will also be full of lush color photographs. I love shooting my subjects as much as I love meeting them :)
Thank you Morpheous for being on the blog today! I have greatly enjoyed your books and look forward to your next kinky installment.
If you haven't seen the second book in this marvelous series, check out:
To learn more about Lord Morpheous, check out his website:
http://lordmorpheous.com/
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